- Adrian Monk: [36:14] What's next?
- Joe Christie: Eighty-nine cent plastic commemorative plaque. Would you kill somebody to get this?
- Adrian Monk: I'd kill somebody NOT to get it.
- Adrian Monk: What do you know about her?
- Joe Christie: That's Jennie Silverman. She's the best employee we've got. They just offered her a management position at the new store on Livingston and she turned it down.
- Adrian Monk: Why would she do that?
- Joe Christie: [pointedly] I don't know. Maybe she has friends here she's loyal to.
- [pause]
- Adrian Monk: Those two cops were married. One of them had kids. I'm loyal to them.
- Sharona Fleming: What was he like as a cop?
- Joe Christie: I remember the day we met. I walked down the hall to shake his hand - this was, you know, back when he was shaking hands - and there were seven detectives lined up outside his office just waiting to run cases by him, just to see what he thought, just to pick his brain. I learned more from Adrian Monk in two days than I did in the two years I was at the Academy.
- Joe Christie: [motions to the coffee mug] What do you think?
- Adrian Monk: I think Edna was obviously killed for this mug.
- Joe Christie: Really?
- Adrian Monk: No.
- Joe Christie: Well, maybe it's made out of gold and painted over.
- Adrian Monk: Joe...
- [Monk taps the mug. It's obviously ceramic]
- Joe Christie: Hey, you said to try three hundred theories until one fits.
- Adrian Monk: I said that?
- Joe Christie: Yeah. I remember everything you ever said, God help me.
- Joe Christie: [to Monk] You remember a vehicle not scraping on a speedbump?
- [beat]
- Joe Christie: Damn, I've missed you.
- Adrian Monk: Tell me about the Lobster Barrel.
- Joe Christie: It's a family place. It's noisy, there's a million kids. You wouldn't last five minutes. It's got a great all-you-can-eat buffet with seven different kinds of shrimp: jumbo shrimp, batter-dipped shrimp, tempura shrimp...
- Adrian Monk: Okay, stop telling me about the Lobster Barrel.
- Joe Christie: ...barbecued shrimp...
- Adrian Monk: Stop.
- Adrian Monk: You were right about Edna. I think someone was after her.
- Joe Christie: How do you know that?
- Adrian Monk: These are the complaint letters she received in the last three months. Different addresses, different handwriting, different postmarks. But the stamps were torn from the same roll. Look...
- [arranges the envelopes in a row]
- Adrian Monk: They fit together, like puzzle pieces.
- Joe Christie: [laughing softly] I'll be damned. You're still the man.
- [waiting in a diner for Monk]
- Sharona Fleming: So where is he, anyway?
- Joe Christie: Well, when I left, he was putting away boxes in the shoe department.
- Sharona Fleming: He's putting boxes away?
- Joe Christie: [laughing] Yeah...
- Sharona Fleming: Oh, God. Maybe we'd better start ordering now, you know?
- [Joe laughs again]
- Lt. Randall Disher: A forty-two-inch flat-screen TV fell on her. She was killed instantly.
- Sharona Fleming: That's horrible. TV still work?
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Sharona, the TV just killed a woman.
- Sharona Fleming: What are you going to do? Lock it up?
- Sharona Fleming: [asking Randy about Crystal, his girlfriend] You have a picture?
- Lt. Randall Disher: Yeah.
- Sharona Fleming: Ohhh. She's pretty.
- [turns photo over]
- Sharona Fleming: Randy! This came with the wallet.
- Lt. Randall Disher: Yeah, I know. She's a wallet model.
- Joe Christie: So, as Employee of the Month, she gets a ceramic mug, dinner for two at the world-famous Lobster Barrel, and a plaque.
- Adrian Monk: And, of course, the thanks of a grateful nation.
- Benjy Fleming: These puzzles have 500 pieces EACH! Now we're mixing 'em toghether... OK, open your eyes! Ready... Go!
- Rudy: [about Mr. Monk] Is he a robot?
- Benjy Fleming: [laughing] No, he's a person!
- Rudy: Wow! What else can he do?
- Benjy Fleming: He vacuums a lot... And he solves murders.
- Rudy: You could sell tickets to this!
- Benjy Fleming: I know, I know! I want to, but my mum won't let me. He's her boss.
- Sharona Fleming: Benjy, what are you doing? He's not a toy!
- Benjy Fleming: He doesen't care, he likes it! Don't you, Mr. Monk?
- Adrian Monk: Oh, yeah! This one's missing a corner!
- Rudy: [takes another puzzle] Do you think he would do three?
- Benjy Fleming: Let's find out!
- [Mr. Monk remains still with two pieces of a puzzle in his hands]
- Rudy: Oh, oh! We broke him!
- Sharona Fleming: Adrian! Hey! You okay?
- Adrian Monk: Sure! You don't still have those letters, do you?
- Sharona Fleming: What letters?
- Adrian Monk: The letters Joe Christie gave us.
- Sharona Fleming: I don't know! That was a month ago!
- Adrian Monk: 27 days!... A month... Close enough.
- Sharona Fleming: Hey! It's your lucky day! They're right here!
- Rudy: What's he doing now?
- Benjy Fleming: Aaah, he's just thinking! Wanna play video games?
- Rudy: Good idea!
- [the boys leave and Benjy laughs]
- Sharona Fleming: Jennie Calendar's criminal record was clean, but she did a stint in juvie as a teenager. She stole a car when she was sixteen.
- Joe Christie: Juvenile records are supposed to be sealed.
- Sharona Fleming: They are. But one of the clerks in the office lives with his mother and stays home on Friday nights, and he bought me a drink.
- [off his look]
- Sharona Fleming: I don't get paid enough.
- Joe Christie: Monk was right, you are good. I'm glad you've got his back.
- Sharona Fleming: Hey, Captain, have you ever met Crystal?
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: I can't say I have. We were supposed to go out to dinner last week, but she canceled at the last minute.
- Lt. Randall Disher: She wasn't feeling well.
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: M-hmmmm.
- Sharona Fleming: Maybe you blew her up too much.
- Lt. Randall Disher: She isn't a balloon.
- Sharona Fleming: That's right. She's a living, breathing wallet model.
- Brent Donovan: [listing the awards Jennie Silverman gets as Employee of the Month] The gift certificate for dinner for two at the Lobster Barrel on 17th Street. Good only on weekdays and does not include lobster.
- Dr. Charles Kroger: You know, Adrian, I see this all the time. I work with cops. I work with ex-cops. You see terrible things. People lie to you. After awhile, you don't believe anything.
- Adrian Monk: I - I - I - I...
- Dr. Charles Kroger: You're going to have to make the leap. You're going to have to trust. Otherwise you're going to be completely alone - and I hope that doesn't happen to you.
- Delores: [about Edna Corruthers] I worked with her in Housewares. Everything had to be spic and span. She was a porfectionist.
- Adrian Monk: You mean "perfectionist"?
- Delores: I'm not one, so I can say it any damn way I want.
- Sharona Fleming: Those imaginary girlfriends can be pretty wild.
- Lt. Randall Disher: She's not imaginary.
- Sharona Fleming: Hm. What's her name?
- Lt. Randall Disher: Crystal.
- [Sharona is staring past Randy at a box that says "Crystal Glassware" on it]
- Sharona Fleming: What's her last name? Glassware?
- [Monk and Christie look through Jennie's awards to see why Edna Corruthers might have been killed]
- Adrian Monk: Tell me about the Lobster Barrel.
- Joe Christie: It's a family place. It's noisy, there's a million kids. You wouldn't last five minutes. It's got a great all-you-can-eat buffet with seven different types of shrimp: jumbo shrimp, batter-dipped shrimp, tempura shrimp...
- Adrian Monk: Okay, stop telling me about the Lobster Barrel.
- Joe Christie: Barbecue shrimp...
- Adrian Monk: Stop.
- Sharona Fleming: [5:31] Tired?
- Lt. Randall Disher: Yes, I was up all night with my girlfriend.
- Sharona Fleming: Yeah, those imaginary girlfriends can be pretty wild.
- Lt. Randall Disher: She's not imaginary.
- Sharona Fleming: Really? What's her name?
- Lt. Randall Disher: Crystal.
- Sharona Fleming: What's her last name, Glassware?