- Lt. Randall Disher: [the entire police department is suiting up for an armed assault on a suspect; phone rings] Okay... Captain! That was Monk!
- Lt. Randall Disher: [the entire squad room freezes] He said he solved the case.
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: He what?
- Lt. Randall Disher: He says it's not a union thing.
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: Is he sure?
- Lt. Randall Disher: [looks at the Captain like "duh"] He's Monk.
- Adrian Monk: [Captain touches his gun while a search warrant is being executed on the man who almost killed the Captain's wife] You might... want to let the Lieutenant... hold that for you.
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: Why? Are you afraid I'll use it?
- Adrian Monk: [pause] I would.
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: [after his wife was nearly killed, and it took a while to figure out who was responsible] I understand now, Monk. You can't let it go, can you?
- Adrian Monk: [twitches] No.
- Max Stottlemeyer: [Monk is watching Capt. Stottlemeyer's kids] Say something crazy.
- Jared Stottlemeyer: Hey, Max, he's not crazy, okay, he's... troubled.
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: [the suspect responsible for almost killing Captain's wife, asks how she is doing] My wife is going to be fine. The doctors saved her life. You should call them and thank them, because they saved yours too.
- [visiting Karen in the hospital]
- Sharona Fleming: How do you feel?
- Karen Stottlemeyer: [grins] Like I got hit by a truck.
- Lt. Randall Disher: So far, it looks completely random. A sniper on Highway 1 fired a shot, took out the tow truck's driver, and it spun out of control into...
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: Into Karen! Who was it?
- Lt. Randall Disher: ...We don't have him, yet.
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: I want everybody...
- Lt. Randall Disher: You got them, sir.
- [last lines; Leland gives Karen her homecoming present]
- Karen Stottlemeyer: A digital camera! You said we couldn't afford it! What about the cost?
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: It's only money.
- Karen Stottlemeyer: Only money?
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: Yeah.
- Karen Stottlemeyer: Who got hit on the head, me or you?
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: That would be me.
- Dr. Maulding: I think her husband could use some help.
- [Monk, Sharona, and Dr. Maulding look over and see Leland shoving a hospital vending machine]
- [Monk is examining the crooked sundial in the neighbor's yard]
- Cranky Neighbor: Oh, my god, he's back. I told you before, this is private property.
- Adrian Monk: We'll just be one second, ma'am. Thank you very much.
- [to Sharona]
- Adrian Monk: Call the captain. I solved the case.
- Cranky Neighbor: Go!
- Sharona Fleming: [whispering] She did it?
- Adrian Monk: No. I wish she did.
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: Monk, you don't know what I'm thinking!
- Adrian Monk: I think I do. The place you're in now... That's where I live.
- [silence]
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: [calming down] Look, I'm just going to go talk to the guy, all right?
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: Hey! I'm Leland Stottlemeyer. My wife Karen was just brought in.
- Dr. Maulding: Captain, I'm Dr. Maulding. I was on duty when she was admitted. Um, would you like to come with me? I have an office upstairs...
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: No, no, now. Tell me now.
- Dr. Maulding: She has some internal hemorrhaging and a non-displaced fracture of the skull...
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: Bottom line, what's the bottom line?
- Dr. Maulding: Her vital signs are strong. They seem to be holding. If the swelling goes down, we're going to operate first thing in the morning.
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: Who's going to do that?
- Dr. Maulding: Dr. Schecter and Dr. Foster.
- Sharona Fleming: They're good.
- [Maulding glances at her]
- Sharona Fleming: I'm an RN, I interned here seven years ago.
- Dr. Maulding: She's right, they're the best we have.
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: Okay. Can I see her?
- Dr. Maulding: In a few minutes. Um, captain? We're good at our job. Let us do it.
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: Okay.