Monk (TV Series)

Mr. Monk and the 12th Man (2003)

Jason Gray-Stanford: Lieutenant Randy Disher

Quotes 

• Mrs. Ling : When I fix this shirt, you don't complain, 'cause you good customer. You come back anytime, Mr. Babcock.

  Disher : Ma'am, he just killed eleven people.

  Capt. Stottlemeyer : Twelve. Let's not forget about the first Mrs. Babcock, who I'll bet is buried under that new porch.

  Mrs. Ling : Well... He still good customer. Not crazy like that Mr. Monk over there.

• Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : [to the squad room]  All right everybody, listen up. Listen up! We're not going to find him flailing around in the dark. Let's communicate, keep each other briefed. We're going dumpster diving! We're going to...

  [turns and notices Disher putting up another sheet on the wall with the photos of the victims] 

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : What are you doing?

  Lt. Randall Disher : I'm leaving a space for the next victim.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Take it down. Take it down.

  [Disher takes it down] 

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : There is no "next victim." We're stopping the son-of-a-bitch at *10*.

• Disher : Captain!

  [hands a file to Stottlemeyer] 

  Disher : Washington just sent this down, it's a prelim psych profile.

  Capt. Stottlemeyer : [holds the folder to his forehead]  Let me guess: the killer is between 30 and 45 years old, white male, does not work in an office, probably spent time in the military, and definitely hates his mother.

  [Hands the file back to Disher] 

  Disher : How did you know that?

  Capt. Stottlemeyer : 'Cause that's what they always say, Lieutenant. That's scrap paper.

• Disher : Are you ready for this?

  [long pause] 

  Capt. Stottlemeyer : Randy, you could be halfway through your first sentence by now.

  Disher : We just picked up Juror #12 at a casino in Wallenpowpack. He gambles a lot, he's always in debt. He did it.

  Capt. Stottlemeyer : What, did he confess?

  Disher : Well he tried to bolt when we picked him up. He lawyered up. He's not saying a thing. And are you ready for this?

  [another long pause] 

  Capt. Stottlemeyer : Yes, Randy, we're ready! You don't have to ask. You never have to ask!

  Disher : He's got a body part in his freezer. A human finger.

  Capt. Stottlemeyer : Really? Well, the DA's gonna love that. They love body parts in the freezer.

• Lt. Randall Disher : [to Sharona, about Kenny Shale]  I was thinking of voting for him, but now I'm worried about his judgment. I mean, going out with you, there's no telling what he might do. Start a nuclear war or something.

• Adrian Monk : [about the 11 victims]  What do they have in common?

  Capt. Stottlemeyer : Absolutely nothing.

  Adrian Monk : Exactly. They have... nothing in common. Some are rich, some poor, different ages, races, occupations... Captain this is a very diverse group. They are... too diverse.

  Sharona Fleming : "Too diverse"?

  Adrian Monk : I'm talking statistics. You'd have to work hard, really hard, to find a group this different. Plus, look at this. The blue pins indicate where they lived, right?

  Capt. Stottlemeyer : Yeah.

  Adrian Monk : The murders took place all over the Bay Area, but the victims all lived in Marin County. What are the odds of *that*?

  Capt. Stottlemeyer : Go on, go, go, go, go...

  Adrian Monk : A diverse group... all registered to vote... you know where you find a group like that?

  Capt. Stottlemeyer : Yes, yes! On a jury!

  Disher : Yeah, yeah, yeah, hang on, hang on...

  [checks his computer] 

  Disher : He's right. They all served together on the same jury six years ago.

  Adrian Monk : A jury.

  Capt. Stottlemeyer : On a jury.

  [he kisses Monk on the cheek, then runs out to rally the task force]