- Warrick Tennyson: [Monk is in the hospital room of one of the men involved in his wife's murder] You were the husband?
- Adrian Monk: I *am* the husband.
- Warrick Tennyson: Forgive me.
- Adrian Monk: Forgive you?
- Adrian Monk: [pause] This is me... turning off your morphine.
- [long pause while intense pain hits Tennyson]
- Adrian Monk: And this... is Trudy, the woman you killed, turning it back on.
- Sharona Fleming: That man took a whizz in the subway. *That* man killed four people in cold blood. Now who do you think we should arrest?
- [long pause]
- Adrian Monk: [mumbling] The murderer.
- [Monk accidentally gets pushed onto a departing subway]
- Sharona Fleming: Sir! Sir! You've gotta stop that train! He's all alone-!
- Transit Cop: Okay, okay, ma'am, okay, calm down. Now, it happens all the time.
- [lifts his radio]
- Transit Cop: What's his name?
- Sharona Fleming: Adrian Monk.
- Transit Cop: And how old is he?
- Sharona Fleming: He's forty-five.
- Adrian Monk: [to the murder suspect] You had the hotel key card, so you knew where he was staying. You ran the whole way. You probably didn't even notice that it was starting to rain... you. It was you. You filthy, disgusting animal! YOU MAKE ME SICK!
- [confused, everyone turns to look where Monk is pointing]
- Busboy: Me?
- Sharona Fleming: What are you doing? He's a busboy!
- Adrian Monk: Sharona, don't you recognize him? From the subway! He's the Urinator! Urinator! It was you, don't-don't try to deny it...!
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Monk...
- Adrian Monk: We saw what you...!
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Monk! Could we get back to the quadruple homicide, please?
- [on learning that Warrick Tennyson is dying in hospital]
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: How long does he have?
- Walter: Two, three days. He's being deposed in connection with that federal racketeering case, and they're afraid they're gonna lose him before they get what they need. They're not letting anybody else near him.
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: You gave me your word.
- Walter: Come on, I didn't lie to you! If we close the ambassador case...
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Look, I don't *care* about the frigging ambassador! He means less than zero to me, okay? My friend's wife got *blown up*! You understand? And it killed him, too! In a way.
- [silence]
- Walter: If we close this case, we can call the press, we can call City Hall, we're gonna have juice. Come on, you know how this works! They won't dare say no to us. Captain, it's not just your best shot. It's your only shot.
- [while the murderer is being arrested, Monk grabs Walter's handcuffs]
- Adrian Monk: You're going down, Mr. Pee!
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: What time is it?
- [Randy lifts his wrist to check his new "Rolex."]
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Not you!
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Where is he?
- Masul the Cabbie: Who?
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: The guy in the front seat, where is he?
- Masul the Cabbie: The nut?
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Yeah, the nut! Where'd he go?
- Masul the Cabbie: What is he complaining about? My taxi is very clean! Why is he wiping, wiping, wiping everything?
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Sir, your taxi is perfect! But where did he go?
- Masul the Cabbie: Look, I don't care! I never pick him up again! I see him again, I keep driving! I don't care if I lose my license! You tell him, I'll keep driving!
- [last lines]
- Masul the Cabbie: No, no, no, no! You guys, fine.
- [indicating Monk]
- Masul the Cabbie: But not him!
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: No, wait, hang on, hang on.
- [cuffs Monk's hands behind his back]
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: I'm handcuffing him, he won't touch anything.
- Masul the Cabbie: Double the meter!
- Adrian Monk: [to Sharona] Yeah, let's come back here real soon!
- Masul the Cabbie: And no talking!
- Lt. Randall Disher: [about his new "Rolex" watch] I can tell you what time it is all around the world.
- [looks at watch]
- Lt. Randall Disher: It's 5:30 here; in Denver, 3:30; in California, 12:17; in Paris, France... time has stopped.
- Adrian Monk: [16:23] Mr Kazinsky, I overheard the ambassador say something. Just, just before he was killed: "She's now gone meatless".
- Vladimir Kazinsky: She's now gone meatless?
- Adrian Monk: Does it mean anything to you?
- Vladimir Kazinsky: Maybe the woman was a vegetarian.
- Adrian Monk: I mean, does it have any meaning in Latvian?
- Vladimir Kazinsky: No. No, I'm sorry.
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [26:33] We didn't fly 3,000 miles to see Cats.
- Captain Walter Cage: Cats is closed.
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: I was straight up with you from the moment I shook your hand.
- Captain Walter Cage: You accusing me of something?
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Warrick Tennyson is dying from kidney failure and heart disease. He probably will not live long enough to talk to us and you knew it. How long does he have?
- Captain Walter Cage: He's got two, three days, maybe. He's in some hospital nobody knows where and the DA's been deposing him on that racketeering case and they're afraid they'll lose him before they get what they need. They're not going to let anybody get near him.
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: You gave me your word.
- Captain Walter Cage: I didn't lie to you! If we close the ambassador case...
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Look, I don't care about the frigging ambassador! He means less than zero to me, ok? My friend's wife got blown up, do you understand? And, it killed him, too, in a way.
- Captain Walter Cage: If we close this case, we can call city hall, we can call the press, we're going to have juice. Come on, you know how this works. They won't dare say no to us. Captain, it's not just your best shot, it's your ONLY shot.