- Adrian Monk: [as "the Monk"] How you doing, Toy Store?
- Disher: What did you call me?
- Adrian Monk: Toy Store. Your name's Disher. Dish, plate, Plato, Play-Doh. And where do you buy Play-Doh?
- Disher: [resigns] Toy Store.
- Sharona Fleming: Where are you going?
- Adrian Monk (as "The Monk"): New Orleans, Mardi Gras.
- Sharona Fleming: Mardi Gras's not for another nine months!
- Adrian Monk (as "The Monk"): Hey, you know what they say. Wherever the Monk is, it's Mardi Gras.
- Adrian Monk (as "The Monk): [as "The Monk"] Secret sauce. Fantastic. What's in that?
- Burger Girl: They don't tell us.
- Adrian Monk (as "The Monk): So it's like a mystery. Ah, the Monk likes mysteries! I'm a detective.
- Burger Girl: I think it's Russian Dressing.
- Adrian Monk (as "The Monk): Aw, man! You just ruined it for me!
- Adrian Monk: [screams at Sharona who is racing to a crime scene] A "Stop" sign is not a suggestion!
- Sharona Fleming: Yes, it is!
- [Monk is wearing a luau shirt]
- Sharona Fleming: What are you wearing?
- Adrian Monk: It's a little something called "style." You wouldn't understand.
- Adrian Monk: Lester! Drop the gun!
- Lester Highsmith: You!
- [he starts to drop his gun, but stops]
- Lester Highsmith: Is that a water pistol?
- Adrian Monk: No.
- [the barrel is dripping]
- Adrian Monk: Maybe.
- [Lester starts to raise his gun again]
- Adrian Monk: It's... scalding! It's scalding hot water!
- Adrian Monk: You understand that if I toss these out, you'll never see the Monk again.
- [Sharona throws the pill bottle into a dumpster]
- [Monk imagines himself talking with the "spirit" of his late wife Trudy]
- Trudy: Hello Adrian. You're not still smelling my pillow, are you? You can't really smell me on that old thing?
- Adrian Monk: Sure, I can. It's your strawberry shampoo, and the lilac lotion you always wore.
- Trudy: You never even liked that lotion.
- Adrian Monk: I love it now... I love it now.