Monk (TV Series)
Mr. Monk Goes to the Carnival (2002)
Ted Levine: Stottlemeyer
Photos
Quotes
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Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Hey, Randy. Did I ever tell you about Monk's first day as a detective?
Lt. Randall Disher : No, sir.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Have a seat.
[Randy does]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : He didn't have a partner, so I got stuck with him.
Lt. Randall Disher : Was he, uh...?
[motions to his head]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : No, no. He was... a little wound. He used to clean the windshield and organize the glovebox before we'd roll. Anyway, we're the primaries on a body at a Hotel in the Castro. A hooker had swallowed a bunch of promazine. You know, the big sleeping pills?
Lt. Randall Disher : Horse tranquilizers, sir.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : I said suicide. Every cop on the scene said suicide. Medical examiner said suicide. Monk walks in, says murder. "Where's the water?" The room had no water. Simple. Eight people in the room, but nobody saw that.
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Lt. Randall Disher : Well, I'm sure you would have seen it eventually, sir...
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Don't kid yourself. There is only one Adrian Monk.
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[Monk and Stottlemeyer look at unclaimed photos from the day of the murder]
Photographer : Here you go. Unclaimed from the day you were asking about. This is everything.
Sharona Fleming : Adrian, I promised Benjy I'd take him on the bumper cars, so we'll meet you later, okay? Just stay close to the Captain, and if you get lost, find a policeman. Promise?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Bingo.
[He pulls out the photo of Gitomer]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Look at the sweatshirt.
Adrian Monk : I was thinking the same thing.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Zipped all the way up.
Adrian Monk : But it must've been 95 degrees that night.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Yeah.
[They head towards the ferris wheel]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : So, they meet over there, walk through here, get on the ride, go round and round, it stops and the kid's dead.
Adrian Monk : Did you question the other riders?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Oh, yeah, I grilled everybody in the park. I got a list of-
[spots the I.A. cops]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Internal Affairs!
[grabs a balloon from another kid]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Look, you just happen to be here, okay? It's your day off, understood?
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TV Reporter : Lieutenant Adam Kirk is, of course, no stranger to controversy. Six years ago he was suspended for using excessive force-
[Stottlemeyer talks with Adam Kirk]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Have you been drinking?
Lt. Adam Kirk : I don't know. A taste.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Amphetamines? Anything? They're gonna want a blood test.
Lt. Adam Kirk : Bring it on.
TV Reporter : ...And he was in the news again recently when alleged killer Leonard Stokes accused him of police brutality.
[Two detectives approach Stottlemeyer and Adam]
IA Cop : Captain, we got to...
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Come on, give me 30 seconds!
IA Cop : All right.
[They leave]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Internal Affairs is gonna try to rip you apart.
Lt. Adam Kirk : Well, they've been trying for years.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Look, Adam, is there something you wanna tell me? He pulled a knife, there was a fight, it was either you or him?
[Adam gets in Stottlemeyer's face]
Lt. Adam Kirk : Leland. Leland, I never touched him!
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : There were bruises on his chest.
Lt. Adam Kirk : Well, he must've stuck himself!
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : He stuck himself. All right, look, from this point forward, you don't say anything.
Lt. Adam Kirk : Mm-hmm.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : No, you don't speak English. I'm gonna call Sam Dwyer from PDA, and he'll send somebody over.
Lt. Adam Kirk : Leland, I never touched him!
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Not a word. I'll talk to you later.