Monk (TV Series)

Mr. Monk Goes to the Asylum (2002)

Eve Gordon: Janie

Quotes 

• Dr. Moris Lancaster : Remember, this is supposed to be a self portrait. How do you feel about yourself? Look deep inside. There's no right or wrong.

  [looks over one patient's work] 

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : Very good. I love those eyes.

  Adrian Monk : Excuse me, Doctor. Is there a sink nearby?

  [Janie sighs] 

  Adrian Monk : I-I-I need to wash up.

  Janie : Will you shut him up! He has been whining since he walked in here. It's too hot. It's too cold. I have charcoal on my hands!

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : Jane, what did we talk about yesterday?

  Janie : Controlling the urge to lash out.

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : Do you have something you wanna say to Mr. Monk?

  Janie : [sighs]  Sorry.

  Adrian Monk : That's okay. I do have a little charcoal on my hands.

  Manny : Dr. Lancaster, guess what I'm painting!

  Everyone : Santa Claus!

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : All right, all right.

  [He looks at Manny's work] 

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : Huh. Well, you know this is supposed to be a self-portrait.

  [We see that Manny has painted a HUGE Santa Claus, with a tiny boy at his feet] 

  Manny : [points to the little boy]  That's me.

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : Hmm. Why are you so small?

  Manny : Everybody's small compared to Santa.

  [Janie turns to Monk] 

  Janie : He actually sits up every night and waits for him.

  Manny : I have a feeling he's on his way. It's definitely getting colder outside.

  Janie : It's August, whackjob!

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : It's all right. Back to work. Come on. Come on. Go ahead. Go ahead.

• Dr. Moris Lancaster : [scolding Monk in his office]  Now, listen to me, Mr. Monk. Not only was Dr. Gould my colleague, he was my best friend. And I do not appreciate you joking about it.

  Adrian Monk : I wasn't joking.

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : Mm-hmm.

  [takes back the newspaper clipping about Dr. Gould's murder] 

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : Do you know what delusion is? It's a false belief sustained despite clear evidence to the contrary.

  Adrian Monk : [turns his attention to the fishing rod]  The fishing line.

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : Pardon me? What?

  Adrian Monk : There was a fishing line in this rod. Where did it go?

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : Well, what do you think happened to it? You think I used it to strangle somebody on the ward?

  [Jane barges in] 

  Janie : Dr. Lancaster! I'm sorry to interrupt, but I heard he was in here.

  [She confronts Monk] 

  Janie : Where is it?

  Adrian Monk : What?

  Janie : You know what! My necklace, the one you said reminded you of your wife. He stole it. I know he did.

  Adrian Monk : This is ridiculous!

  Janie : I took it off in the infirmary. That's the last time I had it. You were in there!

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : Well, there's a simple way to solve this. Adrian, empty your pockets.

  [Monk empties his pockets and the necklace is there] 

  Adrian Monk : Oh my god.

  Janie : Thank you.

  [snatches it] 

  Janie : VERY MUCH!

  Adrian Monk : How did that get there? I swear I... don't remember taking it.

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : I know you don't. I know.