- Capt. Stottlemeyer: [holding the police sketch of the suspect] You've never seen this guy before? In the store, hanging around the parking lot?
- Young Cashier: I don't think so, but I see a lot of faces.
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: Sure.
- Lt. Randall Disher: It looks like Kiefer Sutherland.
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: [pausing] Yeah, I guess it does.
- Lt. Randall Disher: It wasn't Kiefer Sutherland, was it?
- Young Cashier: No, sir.
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: Here's a receipt. This is from your cash register. This is him, right?
- Young Cashier: Mm-hmm.
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: Eight items at 89 cents.
- Young Cashier: Yes, sir. Eight candy bars.
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: Eight candy bars?
- Lt. Randall Disher: It really looks like Kiefer Sutherland. You know, maybe we should - before we distribute it - write across the bottom "not Kiefer Sutherland," just so that we don't disturb Mr. Sutherland.
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: [sarcastically] That's a really good idea.
- Lt. Randall Disher: You think so?
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: No.
- Capt. Stottlemeyer: All right, you think there's a connection. I'm here, convince me: why would a killer, a killer every cop in the city is looking for, hang around your neighborhood to steal candy from children?
- [long pause, while Adrian whispers in Ambrose's ear, Ambrose whispers back, and so forth]
- Ambrose Monk: We don't know.
- [as Monk examines the crime scene]
- Princess Girl: What's he doing?
- Julie Teeger: You'll see, shh...
- Vampire Boy: Is he drunk?
- Julie Teeger: No, he's thinking.
- [questioning a group of trick-or-treaters who were attacked by "Frankenstein's Monster"]
- Adrian Monk: How many of you stopped by my brother's house? The big, gray house near the end of Oakview?
- Witch Girl: You mean, where the "special" man lives? Who never comes out?