Mod Squad (TV Series)

Never Give the Fuzz an Even Break (1969)

Peggy Lipton: Julie Barnes

Quotes 

• Julie Barnes : When are you going to get tired of wheeling and dealing?

  Admiral Nathaniel Johnson : Every caper's a challenge! And more than that, I'm performing a highly useful moral function.

  Linc Hayes : Now, how do you figure that?

  Admiral Nathaniel Johnson : Everybody has a bit of larceny in him. If it wasn't for me, they'd never have a shot at it. After I've taken my marks, they become honest again. They've had a brief fling at crime, and I've made a profit. And consider this: I don't hurt people, except in their pride. And their pocketbooks.

  [winks and nudges Linc with his elbow] 

  Julie Barnes : You're beautiful, Admiral.

  Admiral Nathaniel Johnson : So are you, my dear.

• Capt. Adam Greer : I bet you three get a charge out of listening to the Admiral harpoon me.

  Julie Barnes : He happens to be a very groovy person.

  Capt. Adam Greer : That does it. Okay, kids, I better take you off the case. He's won and I've lost.

  Linc Hayes : What do you mean?

  Capt. Adam Greer : You're not taking him seriously! You think he's some combination of Robin Hood, Santa Claus, and Daddy Warbucks.

  Pete Cochran : Well, we don't think he's the Boston Strangler.

  Capt. Adam Greer : You're aiding and abetting a criminal!

  Julie Barnes : I'm not! I just wash his socks.

  [laughter] 

• Linc Hayes : [entrusted with an incriminating check]  Well, we finally got it.

  Julie Barnes : All the evidence the Captain needs.

  Pete Cochran : And an eyewitness to testify.

  Julie Barnes : What should we do?

  Linc Hayes : Tear it up.

  Pete Cochran : Burn it.

  Capt. Adam Greer : [Greer enters the scene and takes the check]  You could give it to me.

  Linc Hayes : What are you gonna do?

  Capt. Adam Greer : Go over to Monrovia, get a written complaint from Dr. Steelman.

  Julie Barnes : Can't you let the Admiral go?

  Capt. Adam Greer : He's a crook!

  Pete Cochran : Not really. He only swindles people who already have larceny in their hearts. How many times did he tell us that?

  Capt. Adam Greer : Boy, are you hooked.