- [Arthur and Terry are looking at antique vases in an auctioneer's showroom]
- Arthur Daley: [reading from catalogue] "Late 18th century. Estimated sale price seven hundred and fifty pounds."
- Terry McCann: Seven hundred and fifty nicker? You can get them in washable plastic for three gallons of four-star!
- Arthur Daley: You are unlikely to find washable plastic being offered for sale in the Clapham Auction Rooms.
- [looking at a writing desk in the auction house]
- Arthur Daley: Your modern entrepreneur is constantly gazing into the crystal ball of opportunity.
- Terry McCann: And what do your crystal balls tell you about that then, eh? Is there gonna be a big rush on firewood?
- Arthur Daley: No, Terry. That is... that is "an Indian ebony and porcupine quill workbox, nineteenth century". Described as "distressed".
- Terry McCann: Distressed?
- Arthur Daley: Yes, that is a term they use in the auctioneering world.
- Terry McCann: Yeah, loosely translated as "knackered"!
- Arthur Daley: As with most things in this life, Terry, it is in the eye of the beholder. One man's firewood is another man's porcupine wotsisname.