John Larch: Tom Mead

Quotes 

• Tom Mead : [Tom Mead is on the telephone in his apartment, when he hears knocking at his door. Tom advises the caller, places the phone handset on the table, and opens the door]  If you're selling something, I'm not buying. Excuse me, friend.

  [starts to close the door but Anthony intercedes] 

  Michael Anthony : If you're Thomas J. Mead, I have some very important news for you - very *good* news, as a matter of fact.

  Tom Mead : Well, I could use some good news. Come on in.

  [Anthony enters. Tom advises the caller that he will call him back later] 

  Tom Mead : Well, what's the pitch?

  Michael Anthony : [Opening his briefcase and withdrawing a check, which he displays to Mead]  I have here a cashier's check for $1,000,000. All yours, and tax-free.

  Tom Mead : [Disbelieving]  Where's the man with the net?

  Michael Anthony : [Holding the check in Mead's face]  Take a look at the check, Mr. Mead. You'll see that it's bona fide.

  Tom Mead : [Examines check]  A million smackers! You're crazy. Who gives away a million dollars?

  Michael Anthony : Your benefactor insists on anonymity.

  Tom Mead : [Suspicious]  What do I do for this?

  Michael Anthony : [Displaying a document]  You must sign this pledge, the effect that, under penalty of forfeiture, you will tell no one, except your wife if you should marry, that you have this money or where it came from.

  [Mead signs] 

  Michael Anthony : And now, Mr. Mead, you are a millionaire.

  Tom Mead : Tom Mead, millionaire. Funny, I used to think having some extra money rattling around in my pocket was the most wonderful thing in the world. Now I found something I want even more. And this money is going to buy it for me.

  Michael Anthony : And what is that?

  Tom Mead : A girl's freedom. I've got a hunch it's gonna be the best buy I ever made.