Married... with Children (TV Series)

Torch Song Duet (1996)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al : Griff, girls like that are a dime a dozen.

  Griff : Here's a dime, bring me a dozen.

• Al : You're a superbowl hero! Even though that bum O'Donnell threw those two passes right to you.

  Larry Brown : Hey, I know that, and you know that, but Disneyland and the Raiders don't.

• Al Bundy : Griff, thanks to you, I will realize one of my life's dreams: to carry the Olympic torch.

  Griff : I thought your life's dream was to feel up Barbara Eden.

  Al Bundy : Well yeah, but I did that.

  Griff : Stroking a big screen at Sears doesn't count.

• Al Bundy : Hey! You're Flint Guccione, publisher of Big 'Uns magazine.

  Flint Guccione : Right you are. Who would have thought that an instamatic, drunken family reunion, and 50 bucks could start an empire?

• Griff : You know all the answers. Why don't you call in?

  Al Bundy : Because I was banned from the radio station for making one innocent comment.

  Griff : What did you say?

  Al Bundy : I simply said we can put a man on the moon but we have yet to build an attractive female golfer.

  Griff : And?

  [Al shrugs] 

• Barney : [on TV, singing]  Oh, we love Griff, Griff loves us...

  [Al turns the TV off] 

  Al Bundy : That's not fair. That should be me hugging that big purple idiot!