Married... with Children (TV Series)
Poppy's by the Tree: Part 2 (1987)
Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy
Photos
Quotes
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Al Bundy : You know, standing here with my loving family, I have a question: Why am I running *from* the axe?
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Al Bundy : Who could've cut our tires?
Peggy Bundy : Oh, well, let's see. Who do we know that's insane and has a sharp object?
Kelly Bundy : Grandma?
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Kelly Bundy : Uh, Dad?
Al Bundy : Oh, what?
Kelly Bundy : There's a phone behind you. You might want to share this with the police. I mean, just tell them that we're in this dump, and if you have the time, why don't you tell them that THERE'S A KILLER UPSTAIRS!
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Al Bundy : Someone tried to kill us in our room.
The Sheriff : Oh, yeah. Must've been the guy who does that every five years.
Peggy Bundy : That wasn't in the brochure, Al.
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The Sheriff : The storm washed the bridge out. That means the killer is stuck right here with us. Got him right where I want him. Well, might as well go back to bed now. Oh, if you folks see him again, just holler. I'll... try and find you.
[the sheriff leaves]
Al Bundy : There goes the only man in town who can save us from the killer.
[beat]
Al Bundy : We're dead.
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Al Bundy : All right, now, let's discuss what we know already. We're trapped by a killer, the phones are dead, and the sheriff couldn't catch an M&M in his mouth.
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Al Bundy : [to the sheriff, about Delbert] Look, that guy's the killer. I know it, you know it, and them...
[looks at the locals]
Al Bundy : Well, if Darwin was right, they'll know it in about a million years. Now, me? I'm taking my family and I'm going back to Chicago, where I die just a little each day.
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[Al, Kelly, and Bud get ready to leave]
Kelly Bundy : Uh, Dad. I think we're missing something.
Al Bundy : Well, leave it here. We'll have them send it to us.
Kelly Bundy : It's Mom, Dad.
Al Bundy : [pauses] Oh, yeah. I was wondering why *I* was carrying the bags. Where'd she go?
[a terrified Peggy is seen in another room, tied up, with a gag in her mouth, and the shadow of a man holding an axe is seen near her]
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[Al has knocked out the killer. The townspeople are shocked after seeing who he is]
The Sheriff : Do you know who this man is, Bundy?
Al Bundy : Yeah, he's the killer.
The Sheriff : Yes, but he's also... The man who met Andy Griffith!