- Dobie Gillis: This college is going to get the cream of my musical taste.
- Maynard G. Krebs: We're in trouble, Dobe.
- Dobie Gillis: What do you mean?
- Maynard G. Krebs: No, offense, Dobe, but the cream of your musical taste is Chubby Checker sings the best of Noel Coward.
- Zelda Gilroy: When I call you DJ, Snookums, I don't mean just 'disc jockey'; what I mean is 'darling jerk', because you're too stupid to know that sooner or later you're gonna be mine.
- Dobie Gillis: I vote for later, Zelda, much later.
- Zelda Gilroy: Oh, you poor, blind fool, why do you forever run from me?
- [she maneuvers in front of him, so he can't get away]
- Dobie Gillis: Run, I can't even creep.
- Zelda Gilroy: But look what you're missing, Poopsie: this face, these lips, this figure.
- Dobie Gillis: No offense, Zelda, but what figure?
- Zelda Gilroy: Well, it's in here someplace, and it's yours, all yours.