- Lisa Stemple: I'm telling you: be the Pope.
- Jamie Stemple Buchman: Why?
- Lisa Stemple: Are you kidding? Free rent, all the loose-fitting clothing you could wear, plus we could drive around in that little bubble car.
- Paul Buchman: You figured out what you wanna do?
- Jamie Stemple Buchman: Yeah, I've narrowed it down.
- Paul Buchman: Yeah, to what?
- Jamie Stemple Buchman: Whatever
- Paul Buchman: Cuz I, I hear that convent thing is spectacular.
- Virtual Christie Brinkley: Hi, can you help me? I've got an itch. It must be this damned garter belt I'm wearing.
- Virtual Paul Buchman: Got a garter belt problem?
- Virtual Christie Brinkley: Yeah, if you could just give it a little scratch.
- Jamie Stemple Buchman: You could choose anything in the world and that's what you chose, to be with another woman?
- Paul Buchman: I was waiting for a bus. She started it.
- Ira Buchman: Have I ever led you down the wrong path?
- Paul Buchman: You have never led me down any type of path whatsoever.
- Ira Buchman: Will you relax? She knows there's better guys out here than you and she picked you anyway.
- Virtual Paul Buchman: Let's go home.
- Virtual Jamie Buchman: No no no, I have eight minutes left.
- Virtual Paul Buchman: [at the beach] I was wrong.
- Virtual Paul Buchman: [giving a massage] I was wrong.
- Jamie Stemple Buchman: Honey, give them a check.
- Virtual Paul Buchman: So, what am I doing here?
- Virtual Jamie Buchman: I wanted you here.
- Virtual Paul Buchman: I don't get it.
- Virtual Jamie Buchman: You mean the fact that I could pick anything in the whole world and I picked you?
- Virtual Paul Buchman: Yeah. Did you read the whole brochure?
- Christie Brinkley: Oh, hi honey, you're home. I just spoke with Lisa, and Fran might be coming over later. I was just about to take Murray for a walk. How was your day?
- [kisses Paul]
- Helen Hunt: Christie, that's my part. We talked about this.
- Paul Reiser: Helen, let her play.
- Helen Hunt: Those are my pajamas.
- Virtual Paul Buchman: I was wrong. I was just wrong. You were right. I was wrong. And I was so wrong, the vastness of my wrongness was staggering. It was astounding how wrong I was. And then to not be able to admit that I was wrong... more wrong.