M*A*S*H (TV Series)
Potter's Retirement (1978)
Alan Alda: Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce
Photos
Quotes
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Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : [Charles appears to drink from a bottle of hair tonic] Charles! You're drinking your hair!
Major Charles Winchester : Don't be ridiculous. This is 12 year old scotch. You don't think I'd leave this in the original bottle around you petty larcenists, do you?
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : Ewww!
Captain B.J. Hunnicut : What?
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : I've been drinking from his scotch bottle!
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Captain B.J. Hunnicut : Here's a letter from Klinger to his draft board.
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : Is it ticking?
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Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : [as Hawkeye prepares to open a letter] You're not going to tear into that are you?
Captain B.J. Hunnicut : It's all right. We're doctors.
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : Right. I'll open. He'll close.
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Captain B.J. Hunnicut : What's he got against Potter?
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : Why don't we pin him to the ground, cover him with ants and ask him nicely?
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Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : [Reading the label on a bottle in Charles' footlocker] Ogilve& Cabot's Hair Sprout. A harvest of hair in every bottle.
Captain B.J. Hunnicut : Remind me to put some of that in his deodorant.
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Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : Charles, Potter said bad reports are coming from this camp and someone says you are the informer!
Major Charles Winchester : And you chose to believe this provocateur?
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : You can't call me that!
Major Charles Winchester : Gentlemen, I realize that thinking unsettles your prejudices, but if you would bother to use the few brains you have, it might occur to you to search the outgoing mail for a letter to the Inspector General's office. The chance is very good that it was written by the informer!