Quotes
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Hawkeye : I am the essence of overconfidence! I am speculation,adventure; the spirit of pursuit; the stag howling for its winsome yet anonymous mate. I am the love call of evolution; the perfume and color of the flowers as they offer their pollen to the gentle buzz of the bees. I am sex itself,gentlemen! I am life! I am appetite!
Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt : And I'm not taking my clothes off until he leaves!
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Hawkeye : Let me tell you something, Charles. You think women are only good for one thing.
Maj. Charles Winchester : Oh, don't be absurd, Pierce. I respect and I admire the sex.
Hawkeye : Sure! As long as they're your handmaidens. As long as they tell you what a great guy you are and carry out your every whim. You know something, Charles? Sitting here listening to you spout your bilge, I get a picture clear and sharp of the world's most perfect ass.
Maj. Charles Winchester : Are you referring to me?
Hawkeye : I'm referring to me!
Maj. Charles Winchester : Well, that's better.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt : Oh, don't feel bad, Charles. You're just as perfect.
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Maj. Charles Winchester : Face it, Pierce. She was far more attracted to me, until you began assassinating my character.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt : You assassinated his character?
Hawkeye : Yeah. I let him talk.
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Dr. Inga Halvorsen : I sew too. It keeps my fingers nimble for surgery.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt : Funny, I do surgery to keep up on my sewing.
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Hawkeye : I haven't treated you like a professional?
Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan : All you think about with women is one thing.
Hawkeye : In some cases, not even one.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt : Hard smash to your left, Margaret.
Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan : That's supposed to cut me to the quick, right? You've got a yardstick that's three letters high: S-E-X. And you measure every woman in the camp by it.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt : Great backhand.
Hawkeye : What are you getting so excited about?
Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan : I'm sick and tired of the way you chase the nurses! Now that you've met a woman who's on your own professional level, I'm loving every minute of it.
Maj. Charles Winchester : As am I.