User Reviews

'I don't know if I'm ready for life in the fast lane,' Vicki says. Say it three times: Donnie and Loni. Donnie and Loni. Donni - Let's move on. Pam was trying out the 'Pamala Grier' thing. I wonder how long that lasted. I do find it amusing that the pool on the real Pacific Princess is no longer than the one on the set recreation. That thing is tiny! They're doing a hoedown in the Acapulco Lounge. What kind of madness is this? Donny Osmond is not amused! Instead Donny sings 'Traveling Band' because unlike his hillbilly family he's totally rock and roll. He even jams on a guitar solo. What's this? Even Julie has turned on Donny's ruthless attempts to pull a Robert Zimmerman and forsake where you come from. Meanwhile, the guys are leading the gals into Captain Stubing's cabin for romantic encounters. You gotta do what you gotta do. Shaft coolly smokes a pipe as he watches Benson smootch up his gal. Meanwhile, Loni wants to dump Randall Carver for the more cosmopolitan Rich Little. I want to walk like Slim Pickens when I'm old. Loni gives us all some life advice: Don't try to live at the country fair. Donny sings 'Country Roads' because he loves his hillbilly family again. I guess Marion Ross is his 'Mountain Mama.' Will Captain Stubing ever get any sleep? Between the skin, sun, cast, and the lack of a heavy 'pathos' plot, this might just be peak The Love Boat. On Kafka's Love Boat Scale, this double-length episode gets 4 * out of a possible 4 *.