The crew surprises Captain Stubing (
Gavin MacLeod) with the news that they are putting on a musical revue as entertainment for the passengers, with a script co-written by Gopher (
Fred Grandy) and Isaac (
Ted Lange). Gopher's mother Ros (
Ethel Merman), Julie's Aunt Sylvia (
Carol Channing), Isaac's mother Millie (
Della Reese), and Doc's former mother-in-law Connie Carruthers (
Ann Miller) are all planning to take part but also expecting to star in it. The Captain publicly declines to play the lead role in it, but privately fantasizes about being in it and even practices for it. Also aboard are film star Victor Moncrief (
Van Johnson), who retired from show business ten years earlier, and Lionel J. Bigelow (
Cab Calloway), who is pestering Isaac's mother to marry him. Along the way, Victor finds out that the check he used to pay for his cruise has bounced. Gopher takes a liking to Doc's former sister-in-law Trish (
Tracey E. Bregman), and winds up arguing with Doc over it. Gopher also argues with Isaac over the content of the show. Julie's Aunt Sylvia is worried about her missing husband Elliott, because she had a dream in which Elliott is cheating on her. Millie resents the way that Captain Stubing treats Isaac.
—Maisie Fleckum