- Lois Lane: [after Clark had thrown a tire around a man while he was running away] How did you catch him?
- Clark Kent: He got... er..."tired"
- Lois Lane: But, my reporter's instinct says something's up. What does your instinct say?
- Clark Kent: My instincts say, never argue with a woman who's just been behind bars.
- Lois Lane: You still think I'm crazy?
- Clark Kent: I think you're brilliant, but there's a fine line between brilliance and lunacy.
- Lois Lane: Wow, you look great. A little heavy on the eye liner, I think.
- Lois Double: Sorry, but you're a little bit plain for me.
- Lois Lane: Plain?! Sure beats whatever shopping channel told you that was a good look.
- Lois Double: Hey, you gotta act like a prissy, glorified typist, you gotta dress the part.
- Lois Lane: Well, my hair has more bounce than this cheap wig.
- [she tries to pull it off, but it's real hair]
- Jimmy Olsen: I found this book she wrote on subliminal advertising. Thought maybe I could get her to autograph it for my Mom's birthday.
- Perry White: Whatever happened to flowers and chocolates?
- Jimmy Olsen: My Mom's overweight and she's got allergies.
- Lois Lane: A lot of people have tried to get me on a couch and after all this time, I don't think I'm going to start with a psychiatrist.
- Lois Lane: And, guys, try not to let this place fall apart while I'm gone.
- Perry White: Yep, that's our Lois.
- Clark Kent: The genuine article.