- JoJo Stomopolis: Alright, Louie, give me a tee.
- [Expects a golf tee]
- Louie: Tee!
- Jojo Stomopolis: What? Give me a tee.
- Louie: Tee!
- Jojo Stomopolis: Are you listening? I said give me a tee!
- Louie: [Spreads arms] Tee!
- Jojo Stomopolis: I'm guessing this is going to be a long day.
- Jojo Stomopolis: Where's my two iron?
- Louie Anderson: Well you used it on the tenth hole.
- Jojo Stomopolis: Yeah, and...?
- Louie Anderson: Well, I thought you were done with it.
- Jojo Stomopolis: So you left it there?
- Louie Anderson: I'm supposed to carry these things to every hole?
- Louie Anderson: I'm tellin' ya, Dad, computers. They're the wave of the future. Jojo says so.
- Andy Anderson: Thanks for the tip, Louie, I'll be sure to invest my nest egg. Hey, Honey, how much is my nest egg?
- Ora Anderson: [Looking in cookie jar] Three dollars and two oatmeal delights.
- Andy Anderson: [sarcastically] Computers. Ha ha. There's a real growth industry. A passing fad if I ever heard one.
- [Grunewald is throwing pebbles at Louie's window to wake him up]
- Andy Anderson: Hey Grunewald, ever hear of a doorbell?
- Grunewald: I don't wanna wake everybody up.
- Louie: But all my friends have new horns.
- Andy Anderson: Well, if all your friends had new motocycles, would you want one too?
- Louie: Well, yeah.
- Andy Anderson: Ah, that backfired.
- Andy Anderson: Louie, light of my life, my favorite son, you want to watch the Nightsniffer marathon, eat some pizza and donuts, huh, kid?
- Louie: Love to, Dad, but someone's gotta bring home the bacon 'round here.
- Andy Anderson: What am I, chopped liver?
- Ora Anderson: Some day, you're going to learn that there are some things in life that are more important than money.
- Louie: I know, it's just that it takes a lot of money to buy all those things. Ciao, Mother.