- [first lines]
- Claire McCarron: I know how you feel, pal.
- Jeffrey: You keep changing the subject. We're talking about dollars.
- Claire McCarron: Dollars? Dollars, Texas?
- Jeffrey: Dollars, Taxes.
- Claire McCarron: Taxes?
- Jeffrey: Yeah, taxes. Yeah, dollars and cents.
- [Jeffrey is reviewing Claire's tax records for an audit by the IRS]
- Jeffrey: Why do you do this?
- Claire McCarron: What?
- Jeffrey: Give money to these groups - "Concerned Panda"; "Save the Puffins of Glacier Bay"... What the hell is a puffin?
- Claire McCarron: It's a cute little bird. What the hell am I supposed to do. They send me pictures of tortured baby animals.
- Jeffrey: Yeah? Maybe we'll take a picture of you at your audit. Then you'll see some suffering.
- Jeffrey: I think your previous accountant - what was his name... Morty! He think he got his degree from one of those schools who advertise on the back of matchbook covers. I need to speak to him. Do you know how I can get in touch with him?
- Claire McCarron: I don't think he's doing this any more. I-I think he's somewhere in upstate New York selling... crystals.
- Claire McCarron: I guess you know everybody in the neighborhood, huh?
- Father Tomas: That's not always a blessing.