- Theodore Cleaver: Hey, Wally. You know what? I'd like to go to some other planet where they didn't have any rules at all.
- Wally Cleaver: Look, Beaver, I betcha even if you went to the moon, they'd have signs all over the place, like, um, like, 'Don't spit in the craters' and junk like that.
- Theodore Cleaver: Yeah. I guess you can't have any real fun until you croak.
- Fred Rutherford: Why do you have to go and get yourself into messes like this?
- Clarence Rutherford: Gee, I don't know, Daddy.
- Fred Rutherford: And stop calling me 'Daddy'! You're too big for that.
- Clarence Rutherford: Yeah, but you always told me...
- Fred Rutherford: Never mind what I always told you! Now, would you please get out of here? I've got some thinking to do.
- Clarence Rutherford: All right. I know how it upsets you whenever you have to do any thinking.
- Wally Cleaver: [Beaver is describing his confrontation with Lumpy] You mean you said all that to a big guy like Lumpy? Weren't you scared of him?
- Theodore Cleaver: Sure, I was scared of him. But sometimes, if you don't let a big guy know you're scared of him, he forgets he's such a big guy.
- Ward Cleaver: [Ward explains why Wally is still being punished] Yes, but Wally threw towels, too.
- Theodore Cleaver: Yeah, Dad, but it was self-defense! Like on television, if the other guy draws first, then you can blow his head off and everyone pats you on the back and tells you what a neat guy you are.