- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Hey, Wally, what are you rubbin' on your face?
- Wallace 'Wally' Cleaver: Aftershave lotion.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: How come?
- Wallace 'Wally' Cleaver: To smell good.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: What's the good of smellin' good for me?
- Wallace 'Wally' Cleaver: I'm not smelling good for you. I'm just practicing smelling good.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: [the Beaver is helping Wally study for his history exam] Hey, how come if they had a big peace treaty for World War I, they had World War II?
- Wallace 'Wally' Cleaver: Because they had to have some more heroes. They can't just sit around and goof off.
- Ward Cleaver: Well, Beave. Helping your brother with his studies, huh? Learn anything new about history?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: History is mostly killin' people.