- Theodore Cleaver: Well, when you apologize to a girl, she figures she has it coming to her. But when you apologize to a guy, he's just as embarrassed about it as you are.
- Wally Cleaver: You know, you're right, Beav. I remember I had a fight with this guy once, and when I was apologizing to him he got so embarrassed, he pushed me over the hedge.
- Wally Cleaver: If you get in a fight with a guy, well, he waits for ya after school, and you get it over with. But it's not that way with a girl.
- Theodore Cleaver: *We* got it over with.
- Wally Cleaver: Oh yeah, that's what *you* think.
- Theodore Cleaver: What ya mean?
- Wally Cleaver: Well, you know what crybabies girls are.
- Theodore Cleaver: Oh, she didn't cry.
- Wally Cleaver: Yeah, they're the worst kind.
- The Paper Boy: [Ward offered to drive the papergirl home] No, my mother's waiting for me out in the car.
- Ward Cleaver: Oh, I didn't realize that. Well, she must wonder what's keeping you.
- The Paper Boy: No, she knows it takes a long time to collect from some people.