L.A. Law (TV Series)
Oy Vey! Wilderness! (1987)
Michael Tucker: Stuart Markowitz
Quotes
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Ann Kelsey : [while hiking] Stuart, my back is killing me.
Stuart Markowitz : Are your hip stablizers secure?
Ann Kelsey : I don't know if they are. I told you it was ridiculous to bring all this junk!
Stuart Markowitz : Don't start with me, Ann. Don't start with me!
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Stuart Markowitz : [while cutting into a potato after roasting it over an open fire] Ugh! Ann, the middle is all raw. I knew we should have bought that butane stove.
Ann Kelsey : [voice-over] Eat some more trail mix.
Stuart Markowitz : I'm sick of trail mix.
Ann Kelsey : Well, if you hadn't broken all the eggs when you tumbled over...
Stuart Markowitz : Yeah, like that was really my fault.
Ann Kelsey : I don't want to fight anymore. Could you throw some toilet paper over here?
Stuart Markowitz : Sure. Where'd you pack it?
Ann Kelsey : I didn't pack it. You did.
Stuart Markowitz : No, I thought you did.
Ann Kelsey : Oh, swell! You brought ever damn thing in the world out here except the toilet paper! What am I supposed to do?
Stuart Markowitz : How about using a leaf?
Ann Kelsey : A leaf?
Stuart Markowitz : Yeah. You said you didn't want anything to come between you and nature.
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Stuart Markowitz : [Continued hiking] Come on, honey.
Ann Kelsey : Aaah!
Stuart Markowitz : I'll get him. I'll get him.
[Stuart strikes the lizard, but suddenly he missed it]
Stuart Markowitz : All right, the hell with him. Hell with him. I'll let him go. Come on.
Ann Kelsey : God, I hate lizards.
Stuart Markowitz : Oh, God. God this pack is unbelievable. Feel like a lama. How you feeling, honey?
Ann Kelsey : How do you think I'm feeling?
Stuart Markowitz : Is - is the itching getting any better?
Ann Kelsey : The itching's worse. The burning is worse. I am in agony, Stuart. Total agony.
Stuart Markowitz : Just going to be a little bit further. It'll be okay.
Ann Kelsey : How are we ever going to find a dermatologist in this god-forsaken place?
Stuart Markowitz : Well, you know, any kind of doctor can treat poison sumac or whatever it was. Did you, uh, remember to bring the leaf specimen?
Ann Kelsey : I thought you were going to bring it.
Stuart Markowitz : Well, you know I - he probably doesn't need it anyway. Come on.
[Continued hiking, but suddenly they found the jeep]
Ann Kelsey : Oh, Stuart, could you please run and warm it up?
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Stuart Markowitz : Come on.
[Ignition grinding]
Stuart Markowitz : Come on, come on. Come on. It won't start.
Ann Kelsey : Oh, God, Stuart. Stuart, you're got to get me out of here. Please.
[Ann is in agony of itching]
Ann Kelsey : I don't care how. Just - Just get to the Ranger's station or something, please. You've got to get me out of this miserable place... before I start to cry.
[Ann begins to start crying while suffering of itchiness]
Stuart Markowitz : Ann. Ann, come on, honey.
[Ann is sobbing]
Stuart Markowitz : I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to - Just hang in there, honey. I'm going to get us out of here real soon. I promise. I'll be right back. Now, just don't move. I'll be right back!
[Stuart will get help and turned to Ann]
Stuart Markowitz : And don't scratch!