L.A. Law (TV Series)

Hand Roll Express (1988)

Jimmy Smits: Victor Sifuentes

Quotes 

• Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Jonathan, McMurray vs. Brinkley.

  Jonathan Rollins : Uh, $185,000 award plus costs.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : That brings Mr. Rollins to 5 and 0. I'd like to see those kind of stats from some other people around here. Seidell tax audits?

  Stuart Markowitz : Yeah, I'm not going to have anything definitive on that until Friday.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Emile's vs. Southland Magazine.

  Victor Sifuentes : Opening arguments scheduled for today.

  Abby Perkins : Your case may be a editorial section of the L.A. Times today.

  Jonathan Rollins : I never would've thought a restaurant review could generate this kind of controversy.

  Stuart Markowitz : Are you kidding? Lorna Landsberg - Who by the way I'd love to meet sometime if you could.

  [Victor nodded] 

  Stuart Markowitz : She's probably the most influential food critic around. She makes and breaks restaurant.

  Victor Sifuentes : More importantly this is potentially a landmark First Amendment case. The same elements that were in Westmoreland vs. CBS, Tavoulareas vs. the Washington Post, Sharon vs. Time Magazine. They're all there. It is the kind of case that makes laws.

  Michael Kuzak : Immortality, Victor. Nothing less.

  Leland McKenzie : It's a serious issue though, if you don't have a free press if they're cowered by fear of being sued.

  Arnie Becker : Yeah, but on the other hand, is the press entitled to be malicious if it means this guy with the restaurant suffers.

  [Leland shrugged] 

  Michael Kuzak : Was H.L. Mencken malicious? Lincoln Steffens, was he malicious? If you don't like someone's opinion, it's easy to call him malicious.

  Stuart Markowitz : Yeah, and there's something else really important to consider here. We now have a client who knows Spago's private number. We'll never be shut out a table there again.

  [Ann laughs. Jonathan laughs, too] 

  Arnie Becker : Could you find out for me, Victor, if she knows of a restaurant that's serving Chinese food from the Hakka region? I think that this might be the next big cuisine.

  [Abby and Stuart laughing] 

• Eli Goldman : The defense will likely say that the issue here is freedom of the press. But the evidence will demonstrate, it's not. Now we don't mean to suggest that food critics should not be allowed to review restaurants or to print their honest impressions. First Amendment guarantees that right. What it does not guarantee is the right to publish a malicious series of lies. That woman right over there, Lorna Landsberg, attacked this restaurant, vilified it's chef, with no regard for the truth whatsoever. This isn't Freedom of Speech. It's libel. It's slander. And they might want you to get up and wave the flag and sing a few bars of God Blessed America. That's fine, but what she did was not patriotic. It was reprehensible, and people got hurt... seriously hurt.

  [Followed by Victor Sifuentes who will make an opening statement] 

  Victor Sifuentes : You can believe him when he says that the food critic said some nasty things. You can believe him when he tells you that the restaurant has been losing money lately, but when he stands here and tells you that this case is not about Freedom of the Press, don't you dare swallow that. The facts will show that she published her opinion, and they're suing 'cause the words were too harsh. Now I don't care what kind of label they hang on it, they're chasing her because they don't like what she says. And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, goes to the very essence of the First Amendment. Believe me, people, you may think that a magazine restaurant review isn't all that important in the scheme of things. And if this case we're solely about the relative merits of their salad dressing and their beignet sauce, then I would be in complete agreeing with you. But it is not. It is about a right that is fundamental to the Constitution, to democracy, and to every single of you. They're actually asking you to punish the magazine for the expression of an opinion. My God, what a dangerous, dangerous request. Please don't even consider granting it.

• Lorna Landsberg : Brilliant. You were absolutely brilliant.

  Victor Sifuentes : Thanks. Just doing my job.

  Lorna Landsberg : Maybe you think of it as only doing your job, but that opening? Well, it reminded me that journalistic integrity is at stake here. Hmm... Here, try my pulpo.

  Victor Sifuentes : Oh, no. No, thanks. You know, the fact is the stakes are much higher than journalistic integrity. We're talking about Freedom of Expression here, and that affects everyone.

  Lorna Landsberg : In that vein, Victor, I hope that I can feel free in expressing my personal attraction toward you.

  Victor Sifuentes : Excuse me?

  Lorna Landsberg : I don't mean to embarrass you. It's just that I'm a sucker for a man who's big on principle. Do you mind?

  [Lorna will take a taste of Victor's food] 

  Lorna Landsberg : There is nothing like a good oil drizzled over warm chevre.

  Victor Sifuentes : Lorna, I'm flattered, but you do understand that the point of this dinner is to go over your testimony.

  Lorna Landsberg : I understand the substance of my testimony completely. They can't win unless they prove malice.

  Victor Sifuentes : Right.

  Lorna Landsberg : I'm therefore to appear passive and sympathetic without the slightest hint of hostility. Any further objections?

  Victor Sifuentes : Look, Lorna, this is probably the biggest trial I've ever had, at least in terms of overall significance. I don't want to be distracted.

  Lorna Landsberg : I've never known a man to become distracted with me, counselor...

  [Lorna eating the piece of celery] 

  Lorna Landsberg : ever.

  Victor Sifuentes : All right. Well, let's just say that my luck with women hasn't been all that great... lately.

  Lorna Landsberg : Why not give me a chance? I guarantee you can get very lucky with me.

  Victor Sifuentes : No, no. You are a client, Lorna. House rules.

• Victor Sifuentes : The function of a food critic into sample the food and say what he thinks, isn't that right?

  Geoffrey Bowers : There's a big difference between saying what you think and an unmitigated attack.

  Victor Sifuentes : Uh, I see. Well, perhaps when I can quote one of your review s to illustrate exactly where that line lies. Regarding Pitman's Restaurant, "The sewage they call clam broth will induce you to vomit. But don't, management will scoop it up and proffer it to the next patron as pea soup."

  Geoffrey Bowers : Pitman's was an unsanitary restaurant. Every critic said the same thing.

  Victor Sifuentes : Are you saying that if every other critic loved Putnam's, you wouldn't have printed your opinion?

  Geoffrey Bowers : Certainly not. I expressed my opinion regardless of what others think.

  Victor Sifuentes : And why shouldn't Ms. Landsberg do he same thing?

  Geoffrey Bowers : She should, but... Her opinion stinks.

  Victor Sifuentes : So as I understand it, sir, while you disagree with the content of Miss Landsberg's opinion, you fully support her decision to publish it?

  Geoffrey Bowers : Yes. That's right.

  Victor Sifuentes : Thank you, sir. I've nothing further.

• Victor Sifuentes : Now, you have reviewed Emile's several times in the past. Isn't that true, Miss Landsberg?

  Lorna Landsberg : Yes.

  Victor Sifuentes : Why do you review a restaurant more than once?

  Lorna Landsberg : Well, they change. Improvements need to be recognized... as does decline.

  Victor Sifuentes : And could you summarize your most recent impressions for the court?

  Lorna Landsberg : [sees the Chef sitting nearby is Andrew Emanuel]  The food was disgustingly file. It wasn't an affront.

  Victor Sifuentes : Hold on. I would like you to calmly tell us your specific criticisms of the food and service.

  Lorna Landsberg : I actually found the service to be quite acceptable. The problem was the incompetence of the chef.

  Andrew Emanuel : [stands up]  I object to that!

  Judge Hillary Miller Johnson : Order.

  Andrew Emanuel : I happened to be the chef at the meals.

  Judge Hillary Miller Johnson : I don't care who...

  Lorna Landsberg : You're the one who should be on trial!

  Judge Hillary Miller Johnson : Quiet, please!

  Andrew Emanuel : I was sous chef under Stefan de Sueza. I have worked in three-star restaurants throughout Europe!

  Judge Hillary Miller Johnson : I don't care who you are! You're disrupting this court. And if you don't return to your seat, I'll hold you in contempt.

  Andrew Emanuel : Unbelievable!

• Judge Hillary Miller Johnson : Proceed, counselor.

  Victor Sifuentes : Thank you, Your Honor. It was your opinion then, ma'am, that the work of the chef was substandard?

  Lorna Landsberg : As a food critic, one of the things that I look for is how the style or the personality of the chef is reflected in the culinary product. What I tasted here was a total lack of commitment. I tasted fraud. I tasted impotence.

  Andrew Emanuel : [Protesting]  How can you do this to me?

  Judge Hillary Miller Johnson : Have that man removed!

  Andrew Emanuel : She's lying!

  Lorna Landsberg : You're completely a disgrace. It's my Constitution right to say so.

  Judge Hillary Miller Johnson : Order!

  Victor Sifuentes : Miss Landsberg...

  Lorna Landsberg : You're a little toad!

  Victor Sifuentes : Miss Landsberg!

  Andrew Emanuel : [Caught by the bailiff]  How can you do this?

  Lorna Landsberg : A puny man!

  Victor Sifuentes : Miss Landsberg!

  Judge Hillary Miller Johnson : Sit down, Miss Landsberg!

  Andrew Emanuel : [Removed out of the courtroom]  It's not true!

  Judge Hillary Miller Johnson : [to Victor]  I'll ask you to control your witness.

  Victor Sifuentes : Your Honor, can I have a short recess to, uh, confer with the witness?

  Judge Hillary Miller Johnson : Yes, you may.

• [Stormed out of the courtroom] 

  Victor Sifuentes : What do you think you're doing?

  Lorna Landsberg : Just stating my opinion you asked.

  Victor Sifuentes : I told you not to sound vindictive or mean-spirited and you deliberately just did that.

  Lorna Landsberg : Whatever happened to free speech, Mr. First Amendment?

  Victor Sifuentes : Look, I am trying to win a lawsuit here, which I'll not do if you're up there showing malice.

  [Turning behind the window. Is Andrew Emanuel] 

  Victor Sifuentes : Can I help you?

  Andrew Emanuel : Hasn't this gone far enough?

  Lorna Landsberg : Please, get that man out of here.

  Andrew Emanuel : I'm leaving her, Lorna. I'm getting divorce just like I promised.

  Victor Sifuentes : What the hell is this?

  Andrew Emanuel : I know how much I must have hurt you. Forgive me, I beg you.

  Victor Sifuentes : Oh, my God.

  Andrew Emanuel : I still love you. I miss your passion, Lorna, your fire. You devour my tete de veau like no woman in the world.

  Victor Sifuentes : That's what this is about?

  [the chef turned to Sifuentes] 

  Victor Sifuentes : A jilted lover punishing her boyfriend with a bad review?

• Lorna Landsberg : You're really gonna tell your wife?

  Andrew Emanuel : Everything, including the fact that I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

  Lorna Landsberg : Let's get out of here, right now.

  [Lorna changed her mind] 

  Lorna Landsberg : Oh, Victor, I'm quitting this thing. You tell...

  Victor Sifuentes : Oh, no. This is a test case, for God's sakes. You don't quit a trial on the Bill of Rights!

  Lorna Landsberg : I do.

  Victor Sifuentes : You quit and the magazine will lose and they will get full indemnity from you.

  Lorna Landsberg : Won't happen. You tell them that I'll retract the review and write a new one. And I will also publish a four-part series on the food critic who fell in love and ran off with the chef.

  [the Chef kissed Lorna's hand] 

  Lorna Landsberg : That restaurant will be more popular, more trendy, and more lucrative than anybody's wildest dreams.

  Victor Sifuentes : That won't work. It just won't work.

  Lorna Landsberg : You'll make it work. Victor, this is the kind of stuff that makes a Hollywood Restaurant. I'm offering them more positive exposure than they could with a thousand reviews. You just ask them. They'll jump.

  [to the Chef] 

  Lorna Landsberg : Let's go.

  Andrew Emanuel : My darling.

  [Lorna Landsberg takes the Chef Andrew Emanuel and leave. Victor Sifuentes is staying alone in the witness room]