Quotes
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Joannie Garrity : Where'd the dress come from?
Lt. Theo Kojak : Property. It was evidence in a wife-beating case. I don't know if she wouldn't put it on or wouldn't take it off. Women are funny.
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Lt. Theo Kojak : Oh! Hi, cannon.
[picks up a gun off the ground]
Lt. Theo Kojak : Hm. I think you and I have met before, cannon. Maybe on a ballistics report on my desk. Do you suppose?
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Lt. Theo Kojak : It'll be morning in an hour. Before that, one of you is gonna start chirping. Did I say one of you? I'm gonna have a room full of canaries.
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Lt. Theo Kojak : [holding a photograph of Leona and a man hiding behind a menu] Look at the john. He's being so bashful. I wonder why? Terminal acne, maybe?
Capt. Frank McNeil : [McNeil takes the photograph] Well, married men are sometimes camera-shy, have you noticed?
Lt. Theo Kojak : Frequently. Can you make out the name on the menu?
Capt. Frank McNeil : No, but then I can't even read the top line on an eye chart any more.
Lt. Theo Kojak : Tell me about it.
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Lt. Theo Kojak : Como estais, amigo? Como estais?
Det. Gomez : Muy bien. That's pretty good, lieutenant. You know, what you ought to do is get yourself a nice Spanish-speaking girl. It'll help you with the important words.
Lt. Theo Kojak : Hey, take it from me, sonny, for the important things you don't need words.
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Joannie Garrity : What happened to that old timing I hear you brag about?
Lt. Theo Kojak : Oh, well you see, eh, there was a bar mitzvah on the roof garden and it drew a cast of thousands.
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Lt. Theo Kojak : [on payphone] Yeah, hello, Sergeant. I need a black evening dress. Now don't be a wise guy. Besides, I don't fit into a size 12. That's right, it's for the Commissioner, he fits.
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Lt. Theo Kojak : [to Curcio] I ought to stick your mouth in the light socket.
