- Arthur Spooner: [During a flight with heavy turbulence] I don't want to die, Douglas.
- Doug Heffernan: You're not gonna die, okay? It's just turbulence.
- Arthur Spooner: I mean, I don't want to die ever.
- Doug Heffernan: With my luck, you won't.
- Doug Heffernan: [after supporting a group of Jews with a prayer during a flight] Okay, that was ridiculous.
- Arthur Spooner: You're lucky I taught pottery on a kibbutz or I never could have talked our way on here.
- Doug Heffernan: Okay, if I were lucky, you wouldn't be living in my basement.
- Arthur Spooner: And if I were lucky, you wouldn't be so fat.
- Doug Heffernan: What does that have to do with luck?
- Arthur Spooner: I can't hear you, you're too fat.