- Dennis: I think I'm in love with you.
- Carly Watkins: Oh, honey, everybody thinks they're in love with the first girl they ever pretend to make love to while handcuffed to a bounty hunter.
- Officer Adam Hampton: You know what you need? You need a hobby, like me. I keep bees. I keep them in my closet.
- John Hemingway: Don't they fly out when you open the door?
- Officer Adam Hampton: I keep them in a shoebox.
- John Hemingway: Don't they need air?
- Officer Adam Hampton: I poke holes in the box.
- John Hemingway: Don't they fly through the holes?
- Officer Adam Hampton: I keep the bees in little plastic baggies inside the box.
- John Hemingway: Don't they suffocate?
- Officer Adam Hampton: John, it's just a hobby!
- John Hemingway: There's something I have to talk to you about.
- Mahalia Sanchez: John, I told you before, I don't fool around at work.
- John Hemingway: Glad to hear that, Mahalia, otherwise nothing would get done around here except you.