- Mac: [in the hospital] We talked about it, and we decided that we need to get rid of that gun.
- Dennis Reynolds: Oh, oh, the gun... yeah, we're getting rid of the gun.
- Mac: You could have been killed. Dennis could have killed you
- Charlie Kelly: Okay, good, yes, I think that would be for the best... ah... mm... Dee, could you get me a nurse?
- Dee Reynolds: Yeah, sure.
- [exits]
- Charlie Kelly: Tell me we're not getting rid of that gun.
- Mac: No way!
- Dennis Reynolds: [pulls gun out of his pants] Never.
- [someone is robbing the bar and Dennis is about to shoot him]
- Dee Reynolds: [shouts] Shoot him in the face!
- [Mac is shooting a log to practice with a gun]
- Dennis Reynolds: If that log was trying to rob the place, you totally would have killed it!
- Mac: You're such a dildo, dude.
- Dennis Reynolds: Thanks dude, thanks. That's a good way to start the day.
- Dennis Reynolds: [after shooting Charlie] I'll call an ambulance.
- Mac: Bro, the hospital's like three blocks away, we should just drive him!
- Dennis Reynolds: I know that but I don't wanna get blood stains all over the interior of my car!