- Fred Mertz: [as Fred is coming in the Ricardos' front door, Ethel opens the kitchen door and it hits him] She slammed the door on my nose.
- Ethel Mertz: I did not. He walked right into it.
- Ricky Ricardo: Does it hurt much, Fred?
- Fred Mertz: I wouldn't be surprised if it's broken. I may never smell again.
- Ethel Mertz: Wanna bet?
- Lucy Ricardo: [Lucy has just opened a box of flowers, and lets Ethel read its card; she reads it out loud; it's signed "Eternally yours, Fred"; both women exclaim "FRED!"] Fred who?
- Ethel Mertz: You know Fred who...
- Lucy Ricardo: Oh, now, Ethel. You certainly don't think that these are from Fred Mertz, do you?
- Ethel Mertz: Well, this card certainly wasn't written by Fred MacMurray!
- Lucy Ricardo: Oh, now, Ethel...
- Ethel Mertz: Fred... my beautiful fat old goat, your mystery lover.
- Lucy Ricardo: This is just ridiculous. How can I fall for a fat old goat like him?
- Ethel Mertz: Don't you talk like that about Fred!
- Lucy Ricardo: Well you said it first!
- Ethel Mertz: Well I can say it, he's MY old goat!