I Dream of Jeannie (TV Series)

The Lady in the Bottle (1965)

Hayden Rorke: Dr. Alfred Bellows

Quotes 

• Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD : What was this genie like?

  Major Nelson : Oh, she was - um, just your average, everyday, run-of-the-mill genie.

  Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD : Of course. Beautiful?

  Major Nelson : Yes, yeah.

  Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD : Desirable? And helpful?

  Major Nelson : Yes, yes.

  Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD : Captain, that's the classic fantasy. A beautiful girl on a desert island. A girl who would do anything for you. Do you know who that girl was?

  Major Nelson : No, sir. I've never seen her before in my life.

  Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD : She was your mother.

  Major Nelson : My mother's in Salt Lake City, sir.

  Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD : I'm a psychiatrist. I know a mother when I see one.

• Gen. Wingard Stone : [Upon the sudden arrival of General Stone and Dr Bellows, Tony has hidden Jeannie's bottle in a garbage can]  Dr Bellows tells me you had a hallucination back on that island.

  Major Nelson : Um, you really didn't need to tell the General that, sir.

  Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD : I'm only trying to safeguard the welfare of my astronauts, Captain.

  Major Nelson : But I'm fine now sir, really. There's no girl in a bottle.

  [just notices that a garbage truck has just pulled up and 2 garbagemen have emptied the trash can with Jeannie's bottle in it into the compactor] 

  Major Nelson : STOP! Wait! There's a girl in there!

  [runs over whilst Dr Bellows and the General look on] 

  First Garbage Man : [sarcastically]  Oh really? She must have slipped past us.

  Major Nelson : No, really. There's a girl in there! She's in a bottle!

  [Garbage men ignore him. The trash compactor starts up] 

  Major Nelson : STOP! STOP! You'll kill her! I - I'll buy the garbage from you!

  First Garbage Man : [to his colleague]  Charge for garbage?

  Second Garbage Man : Well, this is a good neighbourhood, we got a good grade of garbage.

  Major Nelson : Here, I'll give you $20

  [gives him the money] 

  Major Nelson : Jeannie! Jeannie!

  [rummages through the garbage in the truck] 

  Major Nelson : Jeannie, speak to me!

  [finds bottle] 

  Major Nelson : Ah! Here she is.

  Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD : [Dr Bellows and General Stone have been watching all this in bemusement]  Come with us, Captain Nelson, we'll buy you all the garbage you want.

• Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD : [Dr. Bellows enters his office with a wry grin, only to find Tony and Melissa kissing each other passionately]  I'm always fascinated by these local courtship customs!