I Dream of Jeannie (TV Series)

The Lady in the Bottle (1965)

Larry Hagman: Captain Anthony Wilson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD : What was this genie like?

  Major Nelson : Oh, she was - um, just your average, everyday, run-of-the-mill genie.

  Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD : Of course. Beautiful?

  Major Nelson : Yes, yeah.

  Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD : Desirable? And helpful?

  Major Nelson : Yes, yes.

  Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD : Captain, that's the classic fantasy. A beautiful girl on a desert island. A girl who would do anything for you. Do you know who that girl was?

  Major Nelson : No, sir. I've never seen her before in my life.

  Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD : She was your mother.

  Major Nelson : My mother's in Salt Lake City, sir.

  Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD : I'm a psychiatrist. I know a mother when I see one.

• [after Melissa leaves] 

  Jeannie : What was that one doing here, Master?

  Major Nelson : That one was my fiancée.

  Jeannie : Hah. Thou art kidding.

  Major Nelson : Now, just a minute, young lady. Melissa happens to be a very...

  Jeannie : A black-haired demon.

  Major Nelson : Oh, well, yeah. Look who's talking.

  Jeannie : I can do much more for thee than she can.

  [thows her arms around his neck] 

  Major Nelson : Now-now, stop that, Jeannie. We don't do that in America.

• Melissa Stone : Goodbye Tony.

  Major Nelson : No, no. You don't understand.

  Melissa Stone : Oh, I'm afraid I do understand.

  [Melissa stares at Jeannie standing in front of Tony's bedroom, still clad in 'Master's' shirt, before she faces him again, trying to stay calm] 

  Melissa Stone : Tony... I may be, tolerant, but...

  [explodes in frustration] 

  Melissa Stone : But that's a GIRL!

  [running to front door] 

  Melissa Stone : IT'S A GIRL!

  [slams door on her way out] 

• [after Jeannie kisses him] 

  Major Nelson : I must have gone further into orbit than I thought.

• Major Nelson : Jeannie, that's marvelous. I don't know how to thank you.

  Jeannie : [putting her arms around his neck]  I will teach thee, Master.

• [Jeannie walks into the room wearing only one of Captain Nelson's shirts] 

  Major Nelson : Well. Well, look - look who's here.

  Melissa Stone : I'm looking.

  Major Nelson : Oh, uh, Me-Melissa, this is - This is Jeannie.

  Melissa Stone : Tony. I've always prided myself on being tolerant, but - But would you explain to me, what is that girl doing here?

  Major Nelson : Uh, w-well, that's the explanation. She's not here.

  [Jeannie giggles] 

  Melissa Stone : What?

  Major Nelson : Uh, w-well, she is here, but of course, uh, she's not a girl.

  [Jeannie folds her arms, clearly mad] 

• Gen. Wingard Stone : [Upon the sudden arrival of General Stone and Dr Bellows, Tony has hidden Jeannie's bottle in a garbage can]  Dr Bellows tells me you had a hallucination back on that island.

  Major Nelson : Um, you really didn't need to tell the General that, sir.

  Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD : I'm only trying to safeguard the welfare of my astronauts, Captain.

  Major Nelson : But I'm fine now sir, really. There's no girl in a bottle.

  [just notices that a garbage truck has just pulled up and 2 garbagemen have emptied the trash can with Jeannie's bottle in it into the compactor] 

  Major Nelson : STOP! Wait! There's a girl in there!

  [runs over whilst Dr Bellows and the General look on] 

  First Garbage Man : [sarcastically]  Oh really? She must have slipped past us.

  Major Nelson : No, really. There's a girl in there! She's in a bottle!

  [Garbage men ignore him. The trash compactor starts up] 

  Major Nelson : STOP! STOP! You'll kill her! I - I'll buy the garbage from you!

  First Garbage Man : [to his colleague]  Charge for garbage?

  Second Garbage Man : Well, this is a good neighbourhood, we got a good grade of garbage.

  Major Nelson : Here, I'll give you $20

  [gives him the money] 

  Major Nelson : Jeannie! Jeannie!

  [rummages through the garbage in the truck] 

  Major Nelson : Jeannie, speak to me!

  [finds bottle] 

  Major Nelson : Ah! Here she is.

  Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD : [Dr Bellows and General Stone have been watching all this in bemusement]  Come with us, Captain Nelson, we'll buy you all the garbage you want.

• Major Nelson : [Jeannie is wearing Tony's shirt]  I wish you'd take my shirt off, Jeannie.

  [Jeannie begins to take off the shirt] 

  Major Nelson : No, no! I mean, I wish you'd put on your own clothes.

  [Jeannie transforms into her own clothes] 

  Major Nelson : Thanks. You're just not Air Force, Jeannie. I have a career. I have a fiancée.

  Jeannie : 'That One', she is made of ice. She could never make thee happy.

• Major Nelson : How'd you get in that crazy bottle, anyway?

  Jeannie : Oh, a wicked and powerful jinn put me in there, because I would not marry him.