- Alice Kramden: [asking Ralph where he is going, with luggage and a hat] Alright, Ralph, are you going to tell me?
- Ralph Kramden: No, I am not gonna tell you. No, I am not. And just for that, I ain't even going.
- [puts his luggage away and takes his hat off]
- Ralph Kramden: There, you satisfied? Now you've ruined the wonderful trip I was going on!
- Alice Kramden: Boy, oh, boy, all I know is, if they ever institute a Nut Of The Month club, I've got a very good idea who's going to be January and February.
- Ed Norton: [on why Ralph must commit to fighting Harvey] Do you realize they're closing the pool hall in your honor tonight?
- Ralph Kramden: Let's face it, Norton, if I fight that Harvey tonight, tomorrow night they'll be closing the pool hall in my memory!
- Ralph Kramden: [trying to figure out how he knocked down the tough guy supposed to be Norton's friend] Why would he say, "Hey, fatso, get out of the way"?
- Ed Norton: [staring at Ralph's enormous girth] I don't know, maybe the phrase just fits.
- Ralph Kramden: [to Alice] You don't have to worry about me, I can take care of myself.
- Ed Norton: If you knew how to take care of yourself, you wouldn't have to leave town.
- Harvey: Alright wise guy, meet me at 8 o'clock at Kelsey's gym Friday night.
- Ralph Kramden: Homina homina homina.