Home Improvement (TV Series)

'Twas the Night Before Chaos (1994)

Patricia Richardson: Jill Taylor

Photos 

Quotes 

• Randy : [watching the movie "Patton", with babies Claire and Gracie on the Colonel's lap]  Speaking of powerful, I think one of those babies just dropped a bomb.

  Nancy : There they are.

  The Colonel : They were crying, so I decided to calm them down by letting them watch Patton's invasion of North Africa.

  Nancy : At home we just put them to sleep with old 'Tool Time' tapes.

  Jill : [looks to the babies]  Oh, somebody's stinking up the joint over here.

  Brad : [accusingly]  Randy!

• Jill : Oh, so great to have babies in the house again.

  Tim : There's nothing like a little projectile vomit to brighten up the holidays.

• Jill : Tim, can you come down here? I have to talk to you.

  Tim : Again?

  Jill : Yeah.

  Tim : [Climbs all the way down a ladder]  OK, what did you do now?

  Wilson : Heidey-ho, neighbors.

  Jill : Never mind, I'll talk to Wilson instead.

  Tim : You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna install an escalator.

• Tim : [Talking about his Christmas lights decoration he does every year]  All I miss is a real baby for the manger.

  [Looks at his brother's twins that Jill & Nancy are holding] 

  Nancy : He wouldn't, really?

  Jill : He would but we're not gonna let him.

  Tim : It's not like you don't have one to spare.

• Jill : Tim, wait a second, I need to talk to you.

  Tim : [pushing a fake camel for his Christmas light display]  Not right now, I gotta go light up a camel.