- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: [to Merv Griffin] Mr. Griffin, please. You are the most beloved man in America. You are bright, you are charming, you are the anti-Trump.
- Blanche Devereaux: [after seeing that Rose's dog had taken her slipper again] I do not believe this. I had this thing hidden in the closet, behind three suitcases.
- Rose Nylund: Isn't this dog amazing? He can find anything.
- Sophia Petrillo: Anything?
- [to the dog]
- Sophia Petrillo: A viable Democrat for President. Go!
- Rose Nylund: Dorothy, I'm sorry I won't be able to quiz you; Jake and I are due at the Hubbards, but I have a book here that should help you prepare for your Jeopardy try-out.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: The St. Olaf High School yearbook? No. Thanks anyway, Rose, I don't think I'll be needing it.
- Rose Nylund: Well, okay, Miss Know-it-all. But if Alex Trebek asks you what years Oaf Horwal was on the student council back to back, don't come crying to me.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: 1946 and '47.
- Rose Nylund: [shocked]
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: I intend to win this.
- Blanche Devereaux: Now, Dorothy and I have both been noticing how down you've been lately, and we're very concerned.
- Rose Nylund: Oh, it's my work at the hospital. I know, I'm the one who volunteered. But it's not easy having to spend that much time with people who are old and sick and frail.
- Sophia Petrillo: Ooh, that reminds me, I've got Mahjong tomorrow.