- Maxwell Smart: Wait a minute, Chief, I read about that case in the papers. Three guys went into Fort Knox and they got 600 pounds of gold bars, put 'em in a sack, dropped them from a roof, to a guy who was waiting on the ground below.
- Chief: That's right, Max.
- Maxwell Smart: And then all three guys on the roof were shot down.
- Agent 99: How'd the fourth man die, Max?
- Maxwell Smart: He caught the sack.
- Maxwell Smart: Excuse me, but I've always been curious: what makes a person wanna work in a morgue?
- Mr. Obler: I like a job where you meet people.
- Dr. Zharko: So, Mr. Smart, we meet again.
- Maxwell Smart: We've never met before.
- Dr. Zharko: No? Oh, I thought we had. Must have been your brother.
- Maxwell Smart: I don't have a brother.
- Dr. Zharko: Would you like me to make you one?
- Maxwell Smart: Then it's true: you really can bring people back from the dead.
- Dr. Zharko: Yes, as long as I receive the bodies before rigor mortis sets in.
- Maxwell Smart: Well, that lets Ed Sullivan out.
- Maxwell Smart: Dr. Zharko, KAOS' mad scientist?
- Agent 99: But Chief, that's not possible. He was arrested by the Transylvanian highway patrol over a year ago and executed.
- Maxwell Smart: Well that's probably when he decided to experiment with bringing people back to life.
- Agent 99: While he was dead?
- Maxwell Smart: Well, he probably had a lot of time on his hands.
- Dr. Zharko: [Zharko points to a corpse in his laboratory] One month ago, this KAOS agent was ruthlessly murdered in cold blood.
- Agent 99: By who?
- Dr. Zharko: Me.
- Chief: Max, can you give us an accurate description of that man?
- Maxwell Smart: I'll never forget him as long as I live, Chief.
- Chief: 99, write this down. How tall was he?
- Maxwell Smart: Let's see... 5' 8, maybe 9.
- [beat]
- Maxwell Smart: Make that 10.
- Chief: [to 99] Suspect under six feet.
- Maxwell Smart: Or over.
- Chief: What color were his eyes?
- Maxwell Smart: Oh, that was hard to tell, Chief. He was wearing dark glasses.
- Chief: What about his hair?
- Maxwell Smart: He was wearing a hat.
- Chief: Did he have any noticeable scars?
- Maxwell Smart: He was wearing a suit.
- Chief: No, I mean on his hands or neck.
- Maxwell Smart: He was wearing a scarf and gloves.
- Chief: Did you notice anything about him at all?
- Maxwell Smart: [beat] He was a very snappy dresser.