George Lopez (TV Series)

A Kiss Is Just a Kiss (2003)

George Lopez: George Lopez

Photos 

Quotes 

• Angie Lopez : Monday is Max's soccer game. Tuesday is Carmen's dance class. Wednesdays is my birthday. Thursday is the day after my birthday. Friday is two days after my birthday. By Saturday if we have not yet celebrated my birthday, I will be known as the Widow Lopez.

  George Lopez : Angie, I know it's your birthday, relax,

  [high pitched voice] 

  George Lopez : I got

  Angie Lopez : Don't say 'I got this'.

  George Lopez : [high pitched voice]  I will do my best to get this!

• George Lopez : [Benny badmouths Angie]  Hey kids, you notice how during feeding time the ugly gorilla tries to dominate the younger, prettier one?

  Benny : [eating a banana]  You know what, you can call me all the names you want, I'm eating your food, I'm drinking your beer, I'm watching your cable, yeah, *I'm* the monkey.

• George Lopez : [Vic doesn't believe that Gloria kissed George]  You believe me, right, Mom?

  Benny : Oh yeah, that girl's a slut. She would tongue a cow for milk in her coffee.

• Max Lopez : How come Aunt Gloria and Uncle Richard are getting divorced?

  George Lopez : Oh that's tough. Sometimes two people can love each other but they just can't be together.

  Max Lopez : That's sad.

  George Lopez : [laughs]  It can also be pretty funny. Remember the time Mrs. Ortega chased Mr. Ortega down the street with a plunger?

  Max Lopez : That's my first naked lady.

  George Lopez : Oh yeah, sorry about that. Hey, at least her breasts covered most of her body.

• Vic Palermo : There must have been some way you two could work things out.

  Gloria Palermo : How do you work things out when your husband is never home? How do you work things out when you feel like there's a stranger in your bed? How do you work tings out when you change the sheets and find a stranger's panties?

  George Lopez : So I'm confused, were they Richard's panties?

• George Lopez : [Gloria turns out the light in the garage]  I'm in here!

  [Gloria steps in in a red nightgown] 

  George Lopez : [nervously stammers]  Oh hey, Lingerie.

  Gloria Palermo : Sorry, I just came out for a smoke and saw the light was on.

  George Lopez : I thought you quit smoking.

  Gloria Palermo : I thought Richard quit secretaries.

• George Lopez : [Gloria opens the door in a black nightgown]  Don't you *ever* wear clothes?

  Gloria Palermo : Did you knock on my door to find out?

  George Lopez : Look, Max saw you kissing me last night. He wants to know if Angie and I are getting a divorce.

  Gloria Palermo : Oh my gosh, George, I never meant...

  George Lopez : I'm not letting you screw up my marriage. So put on all the clothes you have until it resembles a tasteful pantsuit and go talk to him.

• George Lopez : It was quiet out there after you left, what happened out there?

  Angie Lopez : We talked, she confessed and... I gave her her hair back.

• Vic Palermo : [pokes George in the chest]  That was a kiss goodbye.

  George Lopez : Here's a hug.

  [pokes Vic in the gut]