- Joey Tribbiani: Oh, I know how we can decide. I'm gonna ask you questions and you've gotta answer real fast, OK? What do you like better, action or comedy?
- Dr. Ross Geller: Action.
- Joey Tribbiani: Who would you rather sleep with, Monica or Rachel?
- Dr. Ross Geller: Dude, you are sick!
- Joey Tribbiani: Oh, right, I forgot you had that whole Rachel thing!
- Phoebe: [about Ross] I'm trying not to be mad at him, but man that guy can push my buttons.
- Monica: Why are so mad at him?
- Phoebe: Look, I don't wanna talk about it. Okay?
- Monica: Well, it just seems that...
- Phoebe: You wanna be on my list too? Keep talking. Has anyone seen my list by the way?
- Chandler: Uh, no Pheebs. What's it look like?
- Phoebe: It's a piece of paper and it says "Ross" on it.
- Monica: Open your eyes.
- Rachel Green: [lies on the sofa with her eyes closed] OK. They are.
- [Monica looks at Rachel, not impressed]
- Monica: [not convinced] How many fingers am I holding up?
- Rachel Green: [guessing] Four.
- Monica: [shocked] Oh my God! I was thinking four.
- Rachel Green: Really?
- Monica: [excited] Yes! OK, now this is just practice. One... two... three.
- [Rachel quickly jerks her head to avoid the eyedrops]
- Monica: My pillow's all wet!
- Rachel Green: [reasoning] Well, you said it was practice!
- Monica: Then why did you move your head?
- Rachel Green: Because I knew you were lying!
- Phoebe: Yes... remember that time on the frozen lake? We were playing chess, you said I was boring, and then you took off your energy mask and you were Cameron Diaz! Okay, there's a chance this may have been a dream.
- Joey Tribbiani: Where do you wanna eat?
- Chandler: I don't know...
- Joey Tribbiani: I know how we can decide. I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions and then you have to answer real fast. So, clear your mind. Clear it tight out. Clear it out. Clear it.
- Chandler: Ok! Ok, it's all clear except for this image of a small, purple lamp. Is that all right if that stays in there?
- [Monica puts the bottle of eye-drops in her mouth and firmly holds reluctant patient Rachel down on the floor]
- Monica: [determined] I am going... hey!... to get these drops in your eyes!
- Rachel Green: [unable to get up] Oh, my God! You really are freakishly strong!
- [using her mouth, Monica squeezes the bottle so that the eye drops fall on Rachel's face]
- Rachel Green: [screams] BLAH! BLAH! MONICA! STOP IT!
- [Rachel starts crying and Monica spits out the bottle]
- Monica: [exhausted] DAMN! IT'S EMPTY!
- [Rachel stops crying and looks relieved]
- Rachel Green: [still pinned down underneath Monica] You know, if Joey and Chandler walked in right now, we could make a fortune!