- Jazz: [commenting on the replacing of Janet Hubert-Whitten with Daphne Reid as Vivian] You know, Mrs. Banks, since you had that baby, there's something different about you.
- [Will stares uneasily into the camera]
- Philip Banks: [to Will as he walks into the room] Excuse me! Is this what you've been telling my boy? That life is one big orgy?
- [backs Carlton and Will in a corner]
- Philip Banks: Well, college is hard work, son! And after that, a family, which is even more hard work, and a teenage daughter who doesn't want to be seen in public with you, and a wife, a wife, who won't let anywhere near her, and a butler, a butler who may be the father of your child! And a gardener, a gard...
- Carlton Banks: Dad!
- Philip Banks: What is it about me that baby doesn't like? Is it my beard? Because if it is, I'll shave it off right now.
- Vivian Banks: Don't you dare. I love the way that beard feels.
- Philip Banks: Hmph. I'm surprised you remember.
- Vivian Banks: Sweetheart, it hasn't been that long since we've made love, has it?
- Geoffrey: Five months this Tuesday.
- [Vivian and Phil stare at him, and he shrugs]
- Geoffrey: Thin walls.
- Carlton Banks: [about his date] I'm not bringing her anywhere near you.
- William 'Will' Smith: I'm your cousin.
- Carlton Banks: The cousin that stole every woman I ever had.
- William 'Will' Smith: Oh, please. I stole one girl.
- Carlton Banks: My point exactly.
- Philip Banks: [to Carlton] I don't want you to move out.
- Carlton Banks: Sorry, Dad, I have to go.
- Philip Banks: No, you don't.
- Carlton Banks: Will says I do. He said it's time for me to leave the nest, become independent, and have sex with girls. Safe sex, mind you, but lots of it.
- Philip Banks: Hilary, I think there's something you need to ask yourself.
- Hilary Banks: Oh, I already did. I'm registering at Tiffany's.
- Philip Banks: No, no. Do you love Trevor?
- Hilary Banks: Love? What's love got to do with it? I'm having a wedding!
- Carlton Banks: [Whispering to Will who has been out getting their stolen stuff back] This is Jacqueline
- William 'Will' Smith: [Also whispering] This is the TV
- Phillip Banks: Carlton, you don't have to do anything.
- Carlton: Will says I do. He says it's time for me to leave the nest and start having sex with girls. Safe sex, mind you, but lots of it!