- Carlton Banks: [when Carlton has a zit on his face] Look at my face!
- William 'Will' Smith: Oh, please, man! We eatin' here!
- William 'Will' Smith: [to Uncle Phil] I had basketball practice and school, and work...
- Philip Banks: Welcome to the real world, Will. That's no excuse, there's never an excuse!
- Will: [rejecting Phil's gift] I- I can't take this, Uncle Phil. I, um- There's something I need to tell you.
- Philip Banks: What is it?
- Will: [nervously] Those pills that Carlton took... um, they- they were from my locker.
- Philip Banks: [shocked] What?
- Will: [stammers] Uncle Phil, I was keeping them in case I needed them...
- Philip Banks: How could you be so stupid? You know you shouldn't be messing with drugs!
- Will: [stutters nervously] I know, Uncle Phil! Somebody gave them to me at school. I didn't mean for Carlton to take them. I mean, I didn't even know if *I* was gonna take them!
- [pause]
- Will: I'm sorry, Uncle Phil...
- Philip Banks: [angrily cuts him off] Sorry?
- [he walks up to Will]
- Philip Banks: My son could have died because of you!
- Will: Look, I know Uncle Phil. That's all I've been thinking about! B-but you gotta believe me, Uncle Phil, I didn't mean to hurt him...
- Philip Banks: Yeah, well, you did! You hurt him, and you could have hurt yourself!
- Carlton Banks: Every time I have a big date, I get a big pimple.
- William 'Will' Smith: Well, judging by the size of that thing, you must be going out with Nell Carter.
- Will: [to the nurse about Carlton] Does he look like a drug addict?
- Nurse Irene: Do I?
- Will: Can we stick to the subject, please?
- Nurse Irene: [to Carlton] Listen, sweetie, the first time I came to this hospital, it was on a stretcher. I've been from Yale to jail and from Park Avenue to park bench, but now I'm clean and sober.
- Carlton: That's really touching but do you think you can get me a nurse without a record?
- Nurse Irene: [to Will] I like him. Try and help him to stick around
- Carlton Banks: Will, how long have you been on drugs?
- William 'Will' Smith: I haven't been. Someone gave them to me. I've been really stressed out with everything I have...
- Carlton Banks: Will, calm down. You're not the only person in this house that hasn't thought about it.
- William 'Will' Smith: You? You don't seem like the type that would even consider drugs.
- Carlton Banks: Well, I have, but after last night, I never will again.
- William 'Will' Smith: I had basketball practice and school, and this guy gave me these pills to help me stay awake, and then Carlton. All I know is that somebody very close to me could be dead right now and it'd be all my fault.
- Will: [when realizing that Carlton has taken the drugs from his locker] Hey, Carlton. Carlton! Carlton, listen. Something terrible has happened, man! Come on, I gotta get you to the hospital!
- Carlton: [while dancing erratically on the prom stage] Why? This is the greatest night of my...
- [Carlton suddenly passes out on the dance floor]
- Carlton's Date: [screams as Carlton falls on the floor] CARLTON!
- Will: [Will grabs hold of Carlton] YO! Carlton, man...
- Will: [to Carlton as he's waking up at the hospital after overdosing from drugs] Carlton, you're at a hospital.
- Carlton: I feel terrible. The last thing I remember is doing the running man to 'I Will Always Love You'. I never thought losing my virginity would be this painful!
- Will: Carlton, I got some bad news...
- Carlton: Oh, God, I malfunctioned!
- Will: No. See, you never made it past the dance floor. Those pills that you took weren't vitamins.
- Carlton: What were they?
- Will: Look, you gotta promise you're not gonna overreact...
- Carlton: What could be worse than finding out I'm still a virgin?
- Will: [about the drugs] It was Speed...
- Carlton: Oh, my God. I'm a drug addict *and* a virgin!
- Will: Shut up! Shut up, shut up. Now be quiet!
- [Uncle Phil makes Will confess to the family about Carlton's overdose]
- William 'Will' Smith: Um... the pills that Carlton took... they were from my locker.
- Vivian Banks: What?
- William 'Will' Smith: I'm sorry, Aunt Viv. I mean, I... I had basketball practice and I had finals, and everything... and one of the guys at school just offered me some stuff to help me stay awake.
- [getting choked up]
- William 'Will' Smith: Then Carlton...
- [pause]
- William 'Will' Smith: Look, all I know... is that somebody real close to me that I love a whole lot could be dead right now, and it would be all my fault.
- [to Carlton]
- William 'Will' Smith: I'm sorry, man.
- [starts crying]
- William 'Will' Smith: I'm sorry.
- Carlton Banks: Ashley, you take out the garbage.
- Ashley Banks: Why me?
- Carlton Banks: Because I'm bigger than you.
- William 'Will' Smith: See, that's not fair. That's only 'cause you got them shoe lifts in today.
- Carlton Banks: [while in the hospital] Can't I get moved to another room? I have a reputation to maintain. What about when I go into political office?
- Nurse Irene: I'll tell you the same thing I told the last guy who asked me that. Just tell them you didn't inhale.
- William 'Will' Smith: Carlton doesn't take drugs. He hates drugs. We still have to mix his aspirin in with applesauce.
- Nurse Irene: Well, that wasn't applesauce we pumped out of his stomach.