- [Will is pretending to be Ashley's father]
- Miss Sharpe: Oh, Mr. Smith, did you forget something?
- Will: Yes, I forgot to give you my direct line.
- Miss Sharpe: Look, I'm really flattered, but...
- Will: You know... that is quite an intoxicating fragrance.
- Miss Sharpe: Come closer.
- Will: Heyyyyyyy.
- Miss Sharpe: [moves closer to Will] That's a fake moustache!
- Will: No, it's not!
- Miss Sharpe: [rips off Will's fake moustache] Yes it is!
- Will: No, it's not!
- Miss Sharpe: Look, I don't know who you are, but I'm calling your real parents right now.
- Ashley: Will!
- Will: No, it's not!
- Ashley: Miss Sharpe...
- Will: It's not!
- Vivian Banks: Sometimes I think we work so hard to give our kids what we didn't have, we forget to give them what we did have.