- Prof. Jeremy Mansfield: Here's an oldie but a goodie. If a tree falls in the woods and nobody's there to see it or hear it, does it make a sound?
- William 'Will' Smith: Yes, yes, it does. Well, no, no it doesn't. Well, how *big* is the tree? Or how far away is this tree from the subway? And how far away is the woods from the ghetto? If the tree falls on a gopher, does the sound that the gopher makes count? What if it fall on Uncle Phil and he hurt the tree?
- Philip Banks: [talking about his old college teacher] The man changed my life. And you know how he did? He challenged me.
- William 'Will' Smith: To what, a pie eating contest?
- William 'Will' Smith: I just need to drop this class.
- Registrar: Well looking at your schedule, I'm going to guess it's Western Philosophy.
- William 'Will' Smith: How'd you know that?
- Registrar: Easy, it's the only class you're taking that requires you to stay awake.
- William 'Will' Smith: [Phil says every student has one professor that makes them who they are] I think I already found him. He's fun and funny, he makes me think about stuff in ways I never thought of before... and I just dropped his class.
- Philip Banks: Let me guess, Western Philosophy.
- William 'Will' Smith: HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW THAT?
- Philip Banks: Because it's what you do, Will, anytime you're met with a challenge you turn and run.
- William 'Will' Smith: Wait, I gotta get Professor Mansfield's signature to drop this class? He's never gonna do that, there's got to be some other way.
- Registrar: Well actually there *is* one other way.
- William 'Will' Smith: What is it?
- Registrar: Make it one of your demands when you climb the bell tower with a rifle.
- Prof. Jeremy Mansfield: [Will wants to participate in class after dropping it] Mr. Smith, I can't see or hear you since you are no longer here.
- [pushes him to the door]
- William 'Will' Smith: Oh but you can *shove* me, right?