- Martin Crane: [Martin is sick before an elementary school safety lecture] The kids are looking forward to seeing the safety show. Eddie and I aren't going to let them down.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Okay, if you really think you can do this.
- Martin Crane: I can. And by the way, you're just as beautiful today as you were the day I married you.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Okay, I let that go the first time. Sit down.
- Dr. Niles Crane: [picks up a police cap that fits Eddie] What's this, has Frasier been attempting to do the laundry again?
- Daphne Moon: [fuming at Gertrude's behavior] I'm so mad I could break something,
- [pounds the exercise table]
- Daphne Moon: Are you ready, Martin?
- Martin Crane: ...Let's give it a few minutes.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: I'm not sure the Grants are the right family for our house.
- Roz Doyle: Who?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: The Grants--the people who moved into the house we built.
- Roz Doyle: You went back there?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Just a few times, yes, to try to share with them the principles of decor, room flow, general livability. Then they literally showed me the door. Yes, Roz, the very door I hung for them in the first place. Take a moment to digest the irony.
- Martin Crane: [showing Daphne and Niles his safety demonstration with Eddie] What should you do before crossing the street?
- [Eddie looks one way, then the other]
- Martin Crane: That's right, always look both ways before crossing. What if a stranger approaches you?
- [Eddie barks and runs to Daphne]
- Martin Crane: That's right, yell for help and run to somebody you trust. Now the last one, what should you do if you catch fire?
- [Eddie drops on the floor and rolls on his back]
- Martin Crane: Right, stop, drop and roll.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: The truth is I've never really been very handy. In elementary school, I made an ashtray for my dad. It caught fire.
- Roz Doyle: Frasier, what do you expect, it's their house.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes, but I helped to build it.
- Roz Doyle: Okay, untangling extension cords and stirring paint isn't exactly building a house.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Dad, good luck!
- Dr. Niles Crane: It's well known, of the cruelest grades, Ninth is third, 7th is second and 4th is first.