- Bebe Glazer: [takes out cigarette] May I?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: On the balcony, if you don't mind.
- Bebe Glazer: Mind? I don't want a single puff tearing up the baby blues of TV's newest sensation. By this time next week...
- Dr. Niles Crane: You heard him, if you're gonna blow smoke, do it on the balcony.
- Matt: This is a chat show, who's he going to chat with?
- Bebe Glazer: Me, I'll go on with him.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: You?
- [shakes Roz]
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Pull yourself together, Roz!
- Matt: I don't think so, Bebe.
- Bebe Glazer: Why not? All he needs is someone to suck up to him, laugh at his jokes, pretend to listen to his stories. I'm his agent, for God's sakes, that's what I do!
- Dr. Frasier Crane: You know, I believe she could pull it off.
- Matt: The problem is she needs to be likable.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Right. Do I at least get to keep the suit?
- Roz Doyle: They're taking us off the air.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: What, since when?
- Roz Doyle: Well while you were out looking for Gatorade to pour over yourself, Kenny stopped by and said we're off the air for a week.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Hey, did you happen to catch the show today? I was on fire. First caller was an agoraphobic.
- [punches the air]
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Boom! Knocked it right out of the park. Then, two troubled marriages and a compulsive over-eater. Boom-boom, Boom! I was a regular mental health dispensing machine.
- Daphne Moon: I did two loads of laundry and cut a piece of gum out of Eddie's hair.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Now, Daphne, don't get down on yourself. The work you do at home is very important. In fact, I don't know what Dad and I are going to do once you're married.
- Daphne Moon: Thank you, Dr. Crane, that makes me feel better.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Boom! Boy, there is no off-switch on this thing!
- Daphne Moon: Sadly, that's true.
- [laughs]
- Bebe Glazer: Hold on, I can be likable. I can also be very un-likable. Maybe if you explained the difference to poor, confused Bebe. For instance, what you were doing in the dressing room with the wardrobe girl an hour ago: would your wife find that likable or unlikable?
- Matt: Could you put some make-up on this woman?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: So, I take it negotiations aren't going so well?
- Bebe Glazer: You remember that insulting figure you said you'd never accept?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Uh-huh.
- Bebe Glazer: They haven't come up to it yet.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, come on in, Niles. Bebe's just bringing me up to speed on her depressing news about my contract negotiations.
- Bebe Glazer: Don't worry, dear, I just need to find a way to throw a scare into them.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Have you tried turning into a bat?
- Bebe Glazer: I would, love, but most grown men don't share your fear of tiny creatures!
- Dr. Niles Crane: Oh please, in your 6th grade production of "Oklahoma!", you took so many curtain calls, Mrs. Van Raphorst had to lasso you and pull you from the stage.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: That woman never understood me or the role of Farmer #3.
- Daphne Moon: Don't worry, Dr. Crane, I'm sure you're right about these things. After all, you usually are.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, thank you, Daphne, that's exactly what I needed to hear.
- Daphne Moon: Boom!
- Dr. Frasier Crane: You know, I must confess, there's a part of me that wishes I could still do the TV show.
- Martin Crane: Well, there's a part of me that wishes that monkey was cooking dinner instead of you-know-who... but we put our dreams away!
- Dr. Niles Crane: I can't believe you're even considering this. The show is nothing more than a melange of bad jokes and mind-numbing banter.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes, but it doesn't have to be, Niles, don't you see? If I could choose the guests myself,
- Bebe Glazer: You can.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: and control the content,
- Bebe Glazer: You could.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: well then I'd accept.
- Bebe Glazer: We did... I mean we will.
- Bebe Glazer: I'll find some other stuffed shirt who's happy to ride my coat tails. Niles, you're a doctor.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Niles! Don't look into her eyes!
- Daphne Moon: Well, I've done enough clothes shopping with your father.
- [doorbell sounds]
- Daphne Moon: I'm pretty good at pretending to like things, no matter how horrifying I find them.
- [Daphne opens the door and smiles at Bebe]
- Daphne Moon: [cheerful pretense] Bebe, how nice to see you.