Frasier (TV Series)

Dad Loves Sherry, the Boys Just Whine (1997)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Quotes 

• Frasier : You old fraud!

  Martin Crane : What?

  Frasier : You made her think she'd broken your heart.

  Martin Crane : Well, of course I did. If a woman breaks up with you, you have to act sad. It's only polite.

  Frasier : Polite? My God, Dad, guilt is a very destructive emotion...

  Martin Crane : Ah, spare me the Ivy League bull. There ain't a dame alive who wouldn't rather break a guy's heart than think she hadn't even made a dent in it. I may not have been to Harvard, but I have been to the College of Love.

  Frasier : Apparently on a Spillane Fellowship!

• Daphne Moon : [to Sherry]  You know, I keep meaning to ask, what's that lovely perfume you're wearing?

  Frasier : Yes, I've been wondering that myself.

  Sherry : It's called Milady's Boudoir. You wouldn't believe what a bargain it is. For a hundred bucks, I can buy enough to drown myself in.

  Niles : [to Frasier]  I've got 60.

  Frasier : Yeah.

• Martin Crane : I guess it's too much to expect my own family to make a person I care about feel welcome.

  Frasier : Wait a minute! When did you ever make any of the women we were involved with feel welcome?

  Niles : Ooh! Frasier, you're right. He almost got away with that.

  Frasier : When did Lilith ever set foot in your house that you didn't make her feel as wanted as a fungus?

  Niles : Not to mention my Maris.

  Martin Crane : You're comparing a warm lady like Sherry to Frosty the Snow- wife?

• Frasier : [to Niles]  Oh, knock it off! I see you're still waiting on that spine donor!

• Niles : Again, I'm sorry for not making it over for dinner last night, but you know I had this tickle in my throat...

  Frasier : Spare me your lame excuses, Niles. We both know why you weren't there.

  Niles : How was Sherry?

  Frasier : Colorful as ever. Last night she treated us to a selection from her unpublished volume of Limericks for Lovers. The last several were about a well-traveled man fortuitously named Horatio!

• Frasier : Quick, Niles, pull up the ladder. She's found our clubhouse!

• Daphne Moon : Can we offer you a drink?

  Sherry : Well, actually, since it's a special occasion, I brought some bubbly. Let's crack it open!

  [tosses the bag containing a bottle to Niles] 

  Niles : Yes, why not? Oh look Frasier--Cold Duck!

  Sherry : You ever had it?

  Frasier : Just once!

• [on Sherry] 

  Frasier : Dad has to be politely told that even though he may enjoy her company he has no right to... what's the polite word for "inflict"?