"Frasier" A Lilith Thanksgiving (TV Episode 1996) Poster

(TV Series)

(1996)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

  • [Roz is house-sitting for Frasier] 

    Frasier : Oh yes, and by the way, I frown on overnight guests.

    Roz : Then you're not doing it right.

  • Dr. Campbell : I don't know how this started, I can only be sure it started with the two of you.

    Lilith : Actually...

    Dr. Campbell : I will die a happy man if I never set eyes on either of you again.

    [They look heartbroken] 

    Dr. Campbell : Unfortunately, there is only one way I can think of to ensure that: your son Frederick is hereby admitted to the Marbury School.

    Frasier : [They are both ecstatic]  Oh!

    Dr. Campbell : [holds up a hand]  However! - he will immediately be expelled if either of you violates any of the following conditions: you will not bring him to school, you will not collect him; you will not attend any recitals, plays, sporting events, or school functions, up to and including "Frederick Crane Day," should we ever have one.

    [He leads them to the door] 

    Dr. Campbell : And when graduation comes, you will dispatch an appropriate envoy with a video camera. And now it is with great pleasure that I bid you goodbye - forever!

    Frasier : Allow me.

    Lilith , Frasier : [He slams the door on himself and Lilith. Cut to the porch as Lilith and Frasier look at each other smugly]  We're in!

  • Frasier : [giving Roz instructions on caring for his orchids]  I know I'm harping on and on about this, but I know you're not used to dealing with delicate flowers.

    Roz : I've produced your show for three years, haven't I?

  • Martin : Why does Lilith have to tag along anyway?

    Frasier : Well, she just didn't want to spend the holiday alone. Her husband is off in New Zealand exploring a volcano.

    Martin : Well why couldn't she go with him?

    Niles : Well because if she accidentally fell in, the shockwave from the hottest thing in nature meeting the coldest would actually crack the Earth in two.

    [Niles and Martin laugh] 

    Frasier : [Not amused]  As if a smile from Maris couldn't freeze mercury.

    Martin : Guys, let it go. Nobody's gonna win this one.

  • Dr. Lilith Sternin : Does my makeup look okay?

    Dr. Frasier Crane : Well you could use a pinch.

    Dr. Lilith Sternin : Do I have time to touch up?

    Dr. Frasier Crane : No no, a pinch.

    [reaches over and pinches Lilith's cheeks] 

    Dr. Frasier Crane : There.

  • Frasier : My God, are you half as nervous as I am?

    Lilith : And then some.

    Frasier : We have got to master our nerves. It is vital that we appear to be well-adjusted, responsible parents. Lilith, do you still keep the Valium with the contraceptives?

    Lilith : Sorry, I needed the last one just to go in and pick up the application.

    Frasier : I'll assume you meant the Valium.

    Lilith : Perhaps before the interview, you should sheath that butter-knife sharp wit of yours.

    Frasier : Perhaps we could find the appropriate kitchen tool to ratchet down that butt of yours a notch or two!

  • Frasier : We've always had our differences but we've been able to put them aside for the welfare of Frederick.

    Lilith : And this may be the most important thing we ever do to ensure his happiness.

    Frasier : Not counting our divorce.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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