Family Guy (TV Series)

Wasted Talent (2000)

Michael McKean: Pawtucket Pat

Quotes 

• Pawtucket Pat : Take a drink, and you'll sink, to a state of pure inebriation. You'll be tanked, like the whole Irish nation. When you drink enough of my beer, you will find this magic rule. Make your every joke a jewel. You'll drive drunker than... Oksana Baiul. Go on buds, drink my suds, 'til you've reached that pure inebriation. Though the beer, may be free... you're just renting it from me.

  Peter Griffin : It's like I died and went to heaven. But, but then they realized that it wasn't my time, and so they sent me back to a brewery.

• Joe Swanson : Hey, Pat, where's the wheelchair ramp?

  Pawtucket Pat : Oh, we don't have one. I guess this is where you get off.

  [Pawtucket Pat blows a whistle and the Chumba Wumbas come out] 

  Chumba Wumba Chorus : Chumba Wumba gobbledy goo / Life isn't fair it's sad but it's true / Chumba Wumba gobbledy gee / When your poor legs are stiff as a tree.

  Chumba Wumba #1 : What do you do when you're stuck in a chair?

  Chumba Wumba #2 : Finding it hard to go up and down stairs?

  Chumba Wumba #3 : What do you think of the one you call God?

  Chumba Wumba Chorus : Isn't His absence slight-ly odd?

  Chumba Wumba #4 : Maybe He's forgotten you.

  Chumba Wumba Chorus : Chumba wumba gobbledy gorse / Count yourself lucky you're not a horse / They would turn you into dog food / Or to chumba wumba gobbledy glue!

  [the Chumba Wumbas push Joe out of the factory] 

  Joe Swanson : I'm glad I'm not taking your stupid tour! I'm a Coors man anyway. Silver bullet!

  Chumba Wumba #2 : Gobbledy glue!