- Peter Griffin: Greg Allman, how did you handle things when life got you down?
- Gregg Allman: Me? I took a lot of drugs and married some broad named Cher. I don't recommend either one of 'em.
- Man: Say Phil, what do you say to Happy Hour after work?
- Phil: I'd say looks like Cheryl's gonna have another black eye to explain to the neighbours.
- [both laugh]
- Phil: Come on, I'm buyin
- Lois Griffin: Meg, how could you bring a toad into this house?
- Meg Griffin: It's not mine. I was just holding it for a friend.
- Stewie Griffin: You know, mother, this could almost have passed for a palatable banana pudding, but without vanilla wafers, it's just another one of your wretched culinary abortions!
- [smacks it to the floor]
- Stewie Griffin: Now clean it up!
- Peter Griffin: [Lois walks in the bedroom, trips a wire that starts a cassette tape] Please leave the light off, Lois. I don't want to be seen right now.
- Lois Griffin: I imagine you wouldn't, the way you've been acting.
- Peter Griffin: I thought you might say something like that.
- Lois Griffin: Well, you do have it coming. Anyway, I convinced Meg to go to the dance, so I'm gonna go drop her off.
- Peter Griffin: Please don't yell, Lois. I've learned my lesson.
- Lois Griffin: I'm wasn't yelling, I was just saying ...
- Peter Griffin: Oh, you would bring that up. Can't you leave the past where it belongs?
- Lois Griffin: Peter, what's wrong with you?
- Peter Griffin: Because, I've already explained that to you. It was a scavenger hunt.
- Lois Griffin: [flips the light on, uncovers the tape player] What the hell is going on here?
- Peter Griffin: Lois, if you still haven't discovered I'm gone, please flip the tape over to side B.
- Brian Griffin: Peter, may I? You're walking down a hallway. You take a left. You keep walking. You take a right. Then a left. Brick wall!
- Chris Griffin: Aaagh!
- Brian Griffin: Yeah. He's tweaked.